i just ended an hour and a half conversation with emily rose. i think it has been at least 3 months since we have spoken, and after the shit fest that went on with my parents last night, this large dose of gossiping was quite refreshing. if gossip girl were real life, emily and i would win hands down.
tomorrow is new year's eve and i have no idea what i am doing. it is a little sad because i was hoping to do something really exciting this year. alas, as i've been finding out recently, my resources are dwindling and therefore i don't even have plans to awkwardly make appearances at random Ckm and Cb parties. whatever. i'll make my own fun.
Music: TV on the Radio
12.31.2008
12.29.2008
errbody
the past 48 hours i have been at claire's house. this isn't really too big of surprise since sarah and i are pretty much always there, but i did just spend 2 full days and 2 full nights over there. both were fun. in n out burger, forking, countless hours of rock band, middle school antics, and fast food at 2 AM; a lethal combination for a good time if i do say so myself.
the next day mina had to go to work, geanna had basketball, and sarah had to go home and hangout with her family from Santa Barbara, so claire and i were on our own. because we could be out as late as we wanted, we wanted to be out late but we had some trouble finding something to do. we ended up eating at willy's, hanging out with eleni and brittany young for awhile and then going home around 12ish anyway. it was still pretty cool. brittany is hilarious! claire and i ended up chatting until bed time.
today i went to the mall with brian to buy a gift for annie. he is the most indecisive shopper in the world. i didn't really mind though because i like to shop for people. he ended up with some hella good looking sunglasses. i think we are going to watch House Bunny tomorrow. i'm just making everyone into a believer.
Music: Rihanna and T.I. - Live Your Life, Kanye West
the next day mina had to go to work, geanna had basketball, and sarah had to go home and hangout with her family from Santa Barbara, so claire and i were on our own. because we could be out as late as we wanted, we wanted to be out late but we had some trouble finding something to do. we ended up eating at willy's, hanging out with eleni and brittany young for awhile and then going home around 12ish anyway. it was still pretty cool. brittany is hilarious! claire and i ended up chatting until bed time.
today i went to the mall with brian to buy a gift for annie. he is the most indecisive shopper in the world. i didn't really mind though because i like to shop for people. he ended up with some hella good looking sunglasses. i think we are going to watch House Bunny tomorrow. i'm just making everyone into a believer.
Music: Rihanna and T.I. - Live Your Life, Kanye West
12.23.2008
we're young and in love
look at that magic. this is The Group and no matter what everyone else thinks or says, The Group will always live in my heart and this is the reason.
i'm so ready for christmas. i love the holidays. everything is just so happy and feels good. even the overcrowded malls and freezing weather have some sort of warmth that just comes with the holiday season. i've been having fun with my friends. we've been giving gifts and laughing. i love laughing. i love it.
claire gave me House Bunny on DVD!!!!
Music: Soco Amaretto Lime - Brand New, Natalie Portman's Shaved Head
12.21.2008
a great miracle happened there
today my family and i went to berkely to celebrate hanukkah at my grandma's house. sarah and claire came too, big surprise. it was a very nice day. my cousins were all there who i haven't seen for quite awhile. we played pictionary and talked and laughed.
but perhaps the best moment we had today was one of the most bittersweet moments of my life. my grandmother prepared an informal memorial to my cousin rachael. naturally she could not read it without beginning to cry, so her friend carol was nice enough to finish reading it for her. despite me telling myself before hand that i would not cry, i could not help myself. i, like the rest of my cousins, began to well up and the tears were soon streaming down my face. i say this moment is bittersweet for a few reasons. first, because for once i decided that it was ok to cry and be sad even in front of all those people. second, because i was not alone because my family, and even my friends were there, and not for a second did i feel like i was being judged. i felt a sense of real family with my cousins crying in front of me, something that i honestly have a lot of trouble recognizing. now i am so terribly sad that rachael is gone, but it is wonderful to see a little light. you could say it was my hanukkah miracle.
but perhaps the best moment we had today was one of the most bittersweet moments of my life. my grandmother prepared an informal memorial to my cousin rachael. naturally she could not read it without beginning to cry, so her friend carol was nice enough to finish reading it for her. despite me telling myself before hand that i would not cry, i could not help myself. i, like the rest of my cousins, began to well up and the tears were soon streaming down my face. i say this moment is bittersweet for a few reasons. first, because for once i decided that it was ok to cry and be sad even in front of all those people. second, because i was not alone because my family, and even my friends were there, and not for a second did i feel like i was being judged. i felt a sense of real family with my cousins crying in front of me, something that i honestly have a lot of trouble recognizing. now i am so terribly sad that rachael is gone, but it is wonderful to see a little light. you could say it was my hanukkah miracle.
12.18.2008
go go go go
i'm losing it yet again. it seems that when things are going well i worry that something is wrong because things don't usually go well all the time. there was a brief period where i was carefree and happy all the time, but i can't know if that was real or not. i can't know if things then were the same as they are now and i was just acting differently.
on tuesday my ten year old cousin rachael died. it hasn't really hit me yet because she is all the way in north carolina and i haven't seen her or her parents or brother in a very long time. i cry in sadness that i never went to north carolina in the summer like i had been asked to so many times. i cry in sadness that she was so assertive and smart and at the tiny age of ten years old she died. i cry in anger because apparently it is causing some sort of drama for my father and his brother. it is in these times of sorrow that we need each other the most. this is one more of those things that we do not have any control over. i do not like it one bit.
Music: I'm Yours - Jason Mraz, Boats and Birds - Gregory and the Hawk
on tuesday my ten year old cousin rachael died. it hasn't really hit me yet because she is all the way in north carolina and i haven't seen her or her parents or brother in a very long time. i cry in sadness that i never went to north carolina in the summer like i had been asked to so many times. i cry in sadness that she was so assertive and smart and at the tiny age of ten years old she died. i cry in anger because apparently it is causing some sort of drama for my father and his brother. it is in these times of sorrow that we need each other the most. this is one more of those things that we do not have any control over. i do not like it one bit.
Music: I'm Yours - Jason Mraz, Boats and Birds - Gregory and the Hawk
12.13.2008
ridikulous
last weekend i had a huge anxiety meltdown from having my essay due and my final art review due but things went alright in the end. i just realized that i am not meant to be an over achiever because i can't handle that shit at all. in the end i finished on time and even got my art stuff done a day early, and i feel it turned out well. after everything was done i was ridiculously happy and the huge weight was lifted off of me. i suppose i am almost a person of extremes, but right now i'm really learning how to be more happy than upset. so far i'm doing an alright job.
as for other things, finals are coming but i'm taking responsibility and studying. i have limited distractions, although i'm looking for some. it is kind of bad, but break is coming and i don't want to be bored. i want to have fun and maybe something meaningful. idk. i just want to have fun at this point. i only have a few months of being a child left.
as for other things, finals are coming but i'm taking responsibility and studying. i have limited distractions, although i'm looking for some. it is kind of bad, but break is coming and i don't want to be bored. i want to have fun and maybe something meaningful. idk. i just want to have fun at this point. i only have a few months of being a child left.
12.10.2008
being open, being honest
honesty is the best policy. i cannot say that without hipocracy because i lie. yes, that is the honest truth, that i DO lie. little did i know that so many others around me, especially people who i thought were incapable of pulling the shit that i do, were in fact just as capable as i am. i don't know if i am mad, sad, upset, or nothing. well i figure i am not nothing. since when have i been known to be nothing about anything? never. so obviously i am confused on what to feel. once again it is proven that it is human nature to lie, hide, and worry. but i still maintain that honesty is the best policy. i like to be treated with the truth, and i often like to tell people the truth. the sad reality is that no one can handle it, not even me no matter how much i try to let on. i like to pretend though. but honestly (curse the word) i'd rather know the truth and have to be upset than to live a lie, or i'd at least be given the choice to live in denial. it feels more justified to me that way.
Music: the silence of my own heart, the chattering of my own brain
Music: the silence of my own heart, the chattering of my own brain
12.07.2008
video girl
tonight was another fantastic night. i filmed open mic night, which i always enjoy somehow, and then i took valerie to morgan dahl's and hungout with eden. valerie, eden, and i had a nice chat in the car. i really do love her. she was an amazing kairos leader and is an inspiration and motivator to me. eden and i went to crepe escape and got coffee and talked. after they closed we headed to her house and ended up conversing for like an hour and a half or something. it was a well needed chill time and i absolutely love her to death.
two good nights in a row. now i must get to work on my art and my essay for shackel. POOOP. at least 1st semester is nearly ending.
Music: Cold War Kids, If I Were a Boy - Beyonce
two good nights in a row. now i must get to work on my art and my essay for shackel. POOOP. at least 1st semester is nearly ending.
Music: Cold War Kids, If I Were a Boy - Beyonce
12.06.2008
foggy nights
it is december at last, the 12th and final month of 2008. it seems like not too long ago i was writing about the coming of it and now it is almost 2009, the year i will graduate, as well as turn 18.
but back to the smaller scale of recent events. the beginning of the day sucked so much. ms. holmes drove me insane and the yearbook comp decided not to save my best/most ballot chart so i had to count them again. but the evening was nice. tonight was mina's first night of work at the new in and out burger in west sac. we were all so proud of our darling mina that we went and ate dinner there. although we didnt get to talk to her, or really see her, we thought we saw her and our burgers tasted that much more delightful with the thought that mina might have handled them in some way. after food we went to IKEA because it is right next to it. of course we visited all the mock housing and pretended to live there and took part in "shenanigans" with all the furniture.
after we returned to claire's and everyone left i dropped off sarah and headed home. brian picked me up and we got ice cream and went back to his house. we got caught up watching the guardian on tv and talking about all my little annoyances. he ended up dropping me off around 12:45. it was ridiculously foggy outside you could barely see! so dangerous to drive. but we made it alive and he made it home as well.
Music: Salt Shaker - lil jon and the eastside boys, all things Rooney
but back to the smaller scale of recent events. the beginning of the day sucked so much. ms. holmes drove me insane and the yearbook comp decided not to save my best/most ballot chart so i had to count them again. but the evening was nice. tonight was mina's first night of work at the new in and out burger in west sac. we were all so proud of our darling mina that we went and ate dinner there. although we didnt get to talk to her, or really see her, we thought we saw her and our burgers tasted that much more delightful with the thought that mina might have handled them in some way. after food we went to IKEA because it is right next to it. of course we visited all the mock housing and pretended to live there and took part in "shenanigans" with all the furniture.
after we returned to claire's and everyone left i dropped off sarah and headed home. brian picked me up and we got ice cream and went back to his house. we got caught up watching the guardian on tv and talking about all my little annoyances. he ended up dropping me off around 12:45. it was ridiculously foggy outside you could barely see! so dangerous to drive. but we made it alive and he made it home as well.
Music: Salt Shaker - lil jon and the eastside boys, all things Rooney
12.01.2008
thanks
my thanksgiving break was greatly needed and went pretty well. i can remember more good things than bad, so that is great. it is so odd to think that next time this year i will be traveling home for break, and the figuring out activities to squeeze into the 5 days will be even harder. good things from break:
1. saw twilight again
2. had fun with my friends
3. went on family vaca with the taylors (saw jack)
4. went to 2 volleyball games
5. spent way too much money
6. painted in my room
7. applied to college
8. saw javi
9. spent quality time with various people
10. was nice to my brother
11. had a good time at thanksgiving dinner with my family
12. found a new distraction
13. sarah wong's 18th birthday!
1. saw twilight again
2. had fun with my friends
3. went on family vaca with the taylors (saw jack)
4. went to 2 volleyball games
5. spent way too much money
6. painted in my room
7. applied to college
8. saw javi
9. spent quality time with various people
10. was nice to my brother
11. had a good time at thanksgiving dinner with my family
12. found a new distraction
13. sarah wong's 18th birthday!
11.28.2008
angels
i cannot stop listening to robert pattinson's music. it is just very calming and powerful. i'm sure the fact that he is so good-looking helps out. when you really look at him, he isn't that hott in the traditional sense. he has a deeper, more personable thing about him and his eyes just burn into you. you can't stop staring, or at least i can't.
the thanksgiving break has been pretty good so far. wednesday the girls all had brunch and then went to see twilight again. yea, robert pattinson. i just love it and him and everything twilight. i can't help myself. today was actually thanksgiving and i had a good time with my family and we had really good food. there wasn't really anything out of the ordinary to talk about, which i think is good for once. sometimes it is good when just simple, regular things are happening. it doesn't always have to be exciting.
last night i painted, in my own bedroom, and it wasn't bad. i am working on a self portrait right now, which is hard for me. so far i'm happy with how it is turning out. i finger painted the other night and that could also be used as a self portrait. i wish my finger painting could be used in my AP portfolio because it is so expressive. i really enjoyed doing it and i like how it turned out.
Music: Robert Pattinson
the thanksgiving break has been pretty good so far. wednesday the girls all had brunch and then went to see twilight again. yea, robert pattinson. i just love it and him and everything twilight. i can't help myself. today was actually thanksgiving and i had a good time with my family and we had really good food. there wasn't really anything out of the ordinary to talk about, which i think is good for once. sometimes it is good when just simple, regular things are happening. it doesn't always have to be exciting.
last night i painted, in my own bedroom, and it wasn't bad. i am working on a self portrait right now, which is hard for me. so far i'm happy with how it is turning out. i finger painted the other night and that could also be used as a self portrait. i wish my finger painting could be used in my AP portfolio because it is so expressive. i really enjoyed doing it and i like how it turned out.
Music: Robert Pattinson
11.24.2008
october 12
i've calculated that october 12th was the last day i felt truly elated. that saddest thing is that those wonderful feelings, feelings of hope, happiness, and love were all because of someone else. that someone else who doesn't even speak to me anymore. i had about one month of this fantasy feeling and i think it's really hitting me now that is is over. it is over. i can't fix it. i can however survive. i have to take this disappointment and turn it into something good, no matter how hard that is going to be. i have to learn from it, move on from it, and make things better the next time. i feel ridiculous, but i am 17 after all. this is just one step in the staircase of life, so to speak. but no matter what, i'll never forget october 12 and i hope that there are many more oct 12's to come in my life.
Music: Jack's Mannequin
Music: Jack's Mannequin
11.23.2008
i'm obsessed
i'm sure you knew it was only a matter of time before this appeared on my blog, but here is my official review of twilight, the motion picture. now everyone knows that movies adapted from books are never as good as the actual book, and twilight is no different. the movie itself was pretty terrible. the development of bella (kristen stuart) and edward's (robert pattinson)love was extremely skipped over, the beginning played out a little too much, and the ending went a little too fast. despite these faults, the movie was nowhere near a definite fluke. the casting of a majority of the characters was quite spectacular. all of the cullens were spot on, each embodying the characters i remember from the book and delivering the right attitudes. of course this includes edward cullen, played by the "dazzling" robert pattinson (cedric diggory in Harry Potter), whom i absolutely am in love with. everytime he came on screen and spoke i found myself literally jumping out of my seat and gasping for air. he had the exact effect over me that moves bella swan to fall in love with him. as for bella, played by kristen stuart (the land of women, speak), the choice perhaps could have been better, but i feel stuart gave a nice effort. the only thing that really bothered me about her was her deep voice narrating. all in all, the characters carried the movie, and for me that is enough. if you enjoy the books you can find a way to enjoy the movie. if you haven't read the books, you'll be lost and just think it is a crappy movie.
11.20.2008
tough times
this economic crisis is having a much greater affect on my life than i had ever anticipated. i thought my parents were on top of it and we would be financially stable despite all this trouble. i can't be so sure anymore. my dad repeatedly tells my brother and i "christmas isn't going to be the same this year. i just have to tell you that now". it is hard to hear those words come out of his mouth. ever since i can remember it was feesable for me to have anything i wanted (although i did not get it because i am not a spoiled brat), so my first instinct is to be angry. but i'm not angry because that is unfair. my dad didn't purposely do anything to make it this way. my next instinct is to worry because words like that infer some sort of financial issue. i am graduating this spring and am supposed to go off to a 4 year college next fall. college is expensive, and although my dad hasn't told me yet that we won't be able to afford anything extravagant, i'm afraid he will tell me that soon. i have considered cost in my options, but part of that was opting for CSUs because they are cheaper for CA residents. well yesterday i received an email notifying me that all 23 CSU campuses are now being impacted due to the budget crisis. that means my easy in to SF state is no longer existent. i'm not sure what i'll do. i have already been accepted to oregon, but can we even afford that? only time will tell and for now i sit on pins and needles as i fill out my college apps.
11.16.2008
peace, love, and god
so i am back from kairos, and not only am i alive but i am also happy. kairos is just another great opportunity that attending christian brother's as given me. now, of course it is a secret so what i can say is limited, but i'll just tell you IF YOU GO TO CB YOU SHOULD GO ON KAIROS. that is all.
11.11.2008
it is ok
rejection is tough. although i wouldn't call what happened to me rejection. i am lost. i'd like to be found.
i'm going on Kairos tomorrow. let's see what happens.
i'm going on Kairos tomorrow. let's see what happens.
11.05.2008
america
today is a historic day in the existance of the United States of America. an African American has been elected president. now i'll be the first to admit, and not be a sore loser, that i am a McCain supporter, but i couldn't be happier for mr. obama in his amazing feat. i'm glad to say that i am not only alive at this moment, but also coherent enough to tell my future children the story of the first african american becoming president. it is truly amazing how far our country has come since its beginning and it is things like this which remind us of the amazing country we live in. i suppose this is democracy at its finest. we have our flaws, not doubt about that, but america is a wonderful place and i'm glad i live here.
in other news, besides political, my day has been a giant roller coaster. and as most roller coasters, i finished with a good feeling. although, it might not be over yet. so i'm just going to take it one step at a time.
11.01.2008
halloween
pictures say 100 words, right? in case you couldn't guess (cause no one can) i was Demi Lovato. google it if you don't know.
Music: anything by Band of Horses or Sufjan Stevens
and Get Back by Demi Lovato, duh
10.26.2008
high school and college
no matter how hard i try to fight it, i like High School Musical because i am a 21st century teen whose attention span can be held with relatively short films having unrealistic teen-life based plot lines, catchy (or cheesy) original lyrics, and a varied selection of cute boys. i saw High School Musical 3: Senior Year on its debut friday and wasn't one bit disapointed. being toward the end of my teen years, i am not quite enthralled with Vanessa Hudgens (Gabriella Montez) as are the 7-14 year olds who also revel in HSM's cult-like glory, but the balance between cute-boy scenes and mushy girl scenes was good enough to allow me to enjoy this film. stars Zac Efron (Troy Bolton) and Corbin Bleu (Chad Danforth) kept me on the edge of my seat with their unbelievable good looks, coreographed dance routines, and sweet voices. as for the females, Ashely Tisdale (Sharpay Evans) never fails to deliver an exceptional portrayal of the ultimate high school bitch, who always fails but finds herself in the end. all in all, the movie was entertaining and slightly relatable because i too am a senior and will be "going through the same things".
yesterday i went to San Francisco with my dad for California College of the Arts' preview day. it was a great experience to finally see all of the SF facilities and really learn about the programs. the chair of the graphic design program talked to us about the specifics of the program and i'm so excited and remotivated to try hard. my dad got a reality check about the cost and i think that he is willing to realistically try to find a way to make this work. now its back to the drawing board, literally to make an exceptional portfolio, write a high quality essay, and get my application filled out all in time for the feb 1st deadline so that i can be considered for a merit based scholarship.
10.25.2008
bet on it
yesterday and today have been officially dubbed "the best weekend ever!!!" by sarah wong. here's a list of what went down. i'll supplement with pictures. it is all too much and too crazy to actually describe everything.
YESTERDAY:
1. went to west campus to find nick parker and failed.
2. went back to school.
3. went to claire's and made signs to ask nick parker to HC.
4. went back to west campus to find nick parker.
5. find nick parker and he says YES!(to stephanie, not me)
6. go to 7-11 to get slurpees. this takes about 30 minutes because we are trying to calculate if we can actually pay for it with our bundle of coins.
7. watch HSM2 on tv and freak out about how hott Zac effron is.
8. ask matt griffone to HC. WTF?!
9. watch the office and get denied by matt griffone....ahhah!
10. good ass car ride home.
TODAY:
1. go make signs with claire and meg.
2. kevin asks sarah to HC!!
3. go go claire's and have fun.
4. go to dinner with Helene, David, and Meg. (me and sarah)
5. go to HSM3!!!!!!!! i squirmed in my seat the entire time because zac effron and corbin bleu are soooooo amazingly cute that i couldn't help it.
6. claire picks us up and we go back.
7. go home
tomorow i'm going to the city for CCA preview day and i'm going to shop at American Apparel.
YESTERDAY:
1. went to west campus to find nick parker and failed.
2. went back to school.
3. went to claire's and made signs to ask nick parker to HC.
4. went back to west campus to find nick parker.
5. find nick parker and he says YES!(to stephanie, not me)
6. go to 7-11 to get slurpees. this takes about 30 minutes because we are trying to calculate if we can actually pay for it with our bundle of coins.
7. watch HSM2 on tv and freak out about how hott Zac effron is.
8. ask matt griffone to HC. WTF?!
9. watch the office and get denied by matt griffone....ahhah!
10. good ass car ride home.
TODAY:
1. go make signs with claire and meg.
2. kevin asks sarah to HC!!
3. go go claire's and have fun.
4. go to dinner with Helene, David, and Meg. (me and sarah)
5. go to HSM3!!!!!!!! i squirmed in my seat the entire time because zac effron and corbin bleu are soooooo amazingly cute that i couldn't help it.
6. claire picks us up and we go back.
7. go home
tomorow i'm going to the city for CCA preview day and i'm going to shop at American Apparel.
10.22.2008
terminated
i got fired. i'm just notifying everyone.
PROS: i have a ton of new free time, i can paint my nails, i won't be so tired
CONS: i have no income, i have to find another job, i'm most likely going to loose my newfound credibility with my parents
let this be the end of it.
PROS: i have a ton of new free time, i can paint my nails, i won't be so tired
CONS: i have no income, i have to find another job, i'm most likely going to loose my newfound credibility with my parents
let this be the end of it.
10.21.2008
carnations are red
this afternoon something quite interesting, and what i would classify as beautiful, happened to me. this small incident started with me deciding to go to the "senior night" soccer game at school. "senior night" is always the last home game for a certain sport, and they honor the seniors who are playing their last games at the home field. it usually involves family and whatnot. anyway, i decided to go for one primary reason: to see stephen's mom, who i haven't seen or spoken to in a long time due to the sad fading of stephen and my friendship. to my relief (because i was a bit nervous about it) she greeted me with open arms and began to chat it up with me. the game progressed as we watched with intermittent conversation, and although i needed to leave, i decided to stay til the half. half time rolls around and cory fong catches my attention from the dispersing team huddle, and signals for me to come talk to him. he notifies me that they are about to do all the senior stuff, but his family and gf arent there, and he asks me if i will be his "family" for it. this my friends is one of the beautiful things in life that remind me of the goodness that can exist in the world. cory and i have been friends since about the 7th grade. we were once extremely close during freshmen and sophmore year, but like anything else we drifted apart. although we did drift, his asking me to do something like this for him, and me feeling in my heart that it is good for him to depend on me assures me that our friendship is forever. it's little, good, things like this that make my heart feel good about the world. friendship that is tested and still true, the ability to be dependent on others, the spontaneity of life. so if you haven't already figured out, i agreed to be cory's family for the day. i went out there when they called his name and he gave me the single red carnation that now, at least in my mind, can remind me of these beautiful moments in life. and the honest truth is that of anyone, i think i am a part of cory's family.
10.13.2008
livin'
the weekend was pretty up and down and up and down and up and down. naturally thursday was very good, so friday had to be a rollercoaster. let's take it day by day.
FRIDAY: school was a little ridiculous. i used my yoga breath to prevent about 5 panic attacks. after school i went home and changed before i had to go to the 40 acres art gallery to meet Jason Micolo Johnson. he is the man whose photography show was at the gallery and my phots were in it as well. it was actually very interesting to hear his thought process and how he did the entire thing, but that ran late and i was late picking up joel for open mic night. i did pick up joel and the camera, because joel and i had to film open mic. this was my first film project so i was kind of nervous but it really isn't that difficult. having a knowledge of cameras definitely helped. open mic was pretty good i guess. eden was so cute as usual. after open mic i hungout with the group and we went to vic's and then claire's for a little.
SATURDAY: i didn't have much to do during the day. i went to luke's for a little while. we watched clueless on tv. i think i've seen that movie 100 times but i still love it a lot. after luke's i headed to claire's and had lunch at chipotle with her and meg. around 3:30 i went home to get ready for the 40 Acres opening reception. i ended up wearing my favorite grey top from forever 21, my dark-wash cigarette BDG jeans, and my silver woven flats from target. i was hoping to buy something new but o well. so i went to the gallery and talked with mr. mcgovern, wendy everett, and all that. claire and mike came and then sarah and her mom and i showed them my pictures. i honestly wasn't too happy with the photo selection, but whatever. i got some exposure. kevin johnson was at the gallery! i took a picture with him and then we all left to go to michael's fashion show. he ended up being quite late and we were already running late so we had to leave. we all went to joel's house because his parents went out of town. this is where i sort of began feeling another one of my great panic attacks coming on. i left because i had work on sunday.
SUNDAY: i went to work. at work i got my official warning about how i need to complete all of my tasks in the alotted time because if i don't i will be fired. i can't say i didn't see it coming. i'm just going to look for a new job in case i get fired, and even if i don't, if i find a better one i will just take it. after work i went home and watched football with my dad. i really missed football. i've been so busy that i haven't been able to watch it, but i really do enjoy it. the patriots lost to the chargers, which made me happy.
TODAY: i went to school and it went better. i got a 50/50 on my history quiz, which is fantastic because my dad has been on my ass about my bad grade. i did the same as i always do in lit, which is good because i usually hit my average and then maintain it. after school i went to claire's with sarah. then i went to guitar and my dad took me out to dinner. we went to hamburger patty's and watched the football game.
as for what i'm feeling/thinking right now, i'm not sure what to say exactly. some things are good and some things aren't. i'm just trying to make everything good by figuring out the things i don't particularly like. i'm also trying to get my college things in order.
FRIDAY: school was a little ridiculous. i used my yoga breath to prevent about 5 panic attacks. after school i went home and changed before i had to go to the 40 acres art gallery to meet Jason Micolo Johnson. he is the man whose photography show was at the gallery and my phots were in it as well. it was actually very interesting to hear his thought process and how he did the entire thing, but that ran late and i was late picking up joel for open mic night. i did pick up joel and the camera, because joel and i had to film open mic. this was my first film project so i was kind of nervous but it really isn't that difficult. having a knowledge of cameras definitely helped. open mic was pretty good i guess. eden was so cute as usual. after open mic i hungout with the group and we went to vic's and then claire's for a little.
SATURDAY: i didn't have much to do during the day. i went to luke's for a little while. we watched clueless on tv. i think i've seen that movie 100 times but i still love it a lot. after luke's i headed to claire's and had lunch at chipotle with her and meg. around 3:30 i went home to get ready for the 40 Acres opening reception. i ended up wearing my favorite grey top from forever 21, my dark-wash cigarette BDG jeans, and my silver woven flats from target. i was hoping to buy something new but o well. so i went to the gallery and talked with mr. mcgovern, wendy everett, and all that. claire and mike came and then sarah and her mom and i showed them my pictures. i honestly wasn't too happy with the photo selection, but whatever. i got some exposure. kevin johnson was at the gallery! i took a picture with him and then we all left to go to michael's fashion show. he ended up being quite late and we were already running late so we had to leave. we all went to joel's house because his parents went out of town. this is where i sort of began feeling another one of my great panic attacks coming on. i left because i had work on sunday.
SUNDAY: i went to work. at work i got my official warning about how i need to complete all of my tasks in the alotted time because if i don't i will be fired. i can't say i didn't see it coming. i'm just going to look for a new job in case i get fired, and even if i don't, if i find a better one i will just take it. after work i went home and watched football with my dad. i really missed football. i've been so busy that i haven't been able to watch it, but i really do enjoy it. the patriots lost to the chargers, which made me happy.
TODAY: i went to school and it went better. i got a 50/50 on my history quiz, which is fantastic because my dad has been on my ass about my bad grade. i did the same as i always do in lit, which is good because i usually hit my average and then maintain it. after school i went to claire's with sarah. then i went to guitar and my dad took me out to dinner. we went to hamburger patty's and watched the football game.
as for what i'm feeling/thinking right now, i'm not sure what to say exactly. some things are good and some things aren't. i'm just trying to make everything good by figuring out the things i don't particularly like. i'm also trying to get my college things in order.
10.09.2008
the god forsaken right to love
today was possibly one of the most interesting days i've ever had.
3 reasons why:
REASON #1: i hungout with the lovely eden after school today. we went to Vic's and got ice cream cones. it was pretty hilarious talking about boys, and the history of goldfish when low and behold christopher sylva walks in. quite ironic since he was definitely in the topic of conversation. after lots of laughs we headed to her father's house for more laughs and some spinach pizza. we then proceeded to her mother's house. there we attempted to jam a little to tegan and sara, made friendship bracelets, and i raided her closet. i ended up leaving with a cute black blouse with polka dots on it. i really am against polka dots, but it is sooo cute. i might wear it to my photography opening on saturday. it was a ton of fun and i hope we hangout again soon!
REASON #2: after i left eden's i still had a little time to kill so i went to brian's to pick up some movies. that progressed into a conversation about school which progressed into me reading his government paper which progressed into a prolonged conversation about politics, people, and the military. naturally it was a little complicated and confrontational, but honestly it was great. he found out some things about me and i can officially come to the conclusion that brian is an intelligent being who isn't just a confused teenager who doesn't give a shit. he even apologised after i got home in case he had offended me in any way. everything is good, if not better.
REASON #3: emily called me and informed me of some not so good news. our other back up at work got fired and the both of us are a bit worried about our employment as well. i really am going to step it up and be extremely consious about everything i do at work tomorrow and every day because i need this job. my parents would be devastated if i lost my job. i'd be devastated after all the trouble i went through to get a job.
overall, the day was great. its odd and interesting moments i really appreciate. i enjoy when life gives me visceral experiences.
3 reasons why:
REASON #1: i hungout with the lovely eden after school today. we went to Vic's and got ice cream cones. it was pretty hilarious talking about boys, and the history of goldfish when low and behold christopher sylva walks in. quite ironic since he was definitely in the topic of conversation. after lots of laughs we headed to her father's house for more laughs and some spinach pizza. we then proceeded to her mother's house. there we attempted to jam a little to tegan and sara, made friendship bracelets, and i raided her closet. i ended up leaving with a cute black blouse with polka dots on it. i really am against polka dots, but it is sooo cute. i might wear it to my photography opening on saturday. it was a ton of fun and i hope we hangout again soon!
REASON #2: after i left eden's i still had a little time to kill so i went to brian's to pick up some movies. that progressed into a conversation about school which progressed into me reading his government paper which progressed into a prolonged conversation about politics, people, and the military. naturally it was a little complicated and confrontational, but honestly it was great. he found out some things about me and i can officially come to the conclusion that brian is an intelligent being who isn't just a confused teenager who doesn't give a shit. he even apologised after i got home in case he had offended me in any way. everything is good, if not better.
REASON #3: emily called me and informed me of some not so good news. our other back up at work got fired and the both of us are a bit worried about our employment as well. i really am going to step it up and be extremely consious about everything i do at work tomorrow and every day because i need this job. my parents would be devastated if i lost my job. i'd be devastated after all the trouble i went through to get a job.
overall, the day was great. its odd and interesting moments i really appreciate. i enjoy when life gives me visceral experiences.
10.06.2008
inspired
i love reading random blogs. i love photo blogs, music blogs, and recently (through links on allison lee's blog) i've discovered fashion blogs. i really like this one.
http://thatsjustmyvibe.blogspot.com/
my blog isn't really any of the three, but i want to start posting more music and showcasing my pictures. i'd say i want to showcase my fashion as well but i really am not that innovative. it is times like these when i realize how much private school dress code really is cramping my style. i've decided for homecoming i'm going way unconventional and i'm going to do my own thing. i dont want the typical homecoming dress and heels everyone else at my school does.
Current Music: Your English is Good - Tokyo Police Club, and anything Jenny Lewis
Current Inspiration: CKM homecoming pics (i know, i know; weird)
http://thatsjustmyvibe.blogspot.com/
my blog isn't really any of the three, but i want to start posting more music and showcasing my pictures. i'd say i want to showcase my fashion as well but i really am not that innovative. it is times like these when i realize how much private school dress code really is cramping my style. i've decided for homecoming i'm going way unconventional and i'm going to do my own thing. i dont want the typical homecoming dress and heels everyone else at my school does.
Current Music: Your English is Good - Tokyo Police Club, and anything Jenny Lewis
Current Inspiration: CKM homecoming pics (i know, i know; weird)
10.05.2008
this is how i feel
today is my brother's 16th birthday. yea...yay! he didn't even care. my mom bought him a cake and he just said "why'd you buy me a cake? i don't really want cake right now." most of the time i just don't understand him. he makes it difficult for me to be nice to him, but somehow, deep down, i love the shit out of him.
tonight was trifecta night. it was a roller coaster. we went to see Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, which was super amazing. it was filled with way too much cuteness for its own good. of course i had to spoil the fun with a huge breakdown in the car about, o yep, kairos. thank god for sarah and claire. they were more than understanding and i guess i'm just a little more than surprised because i've never really had such good friends like that. it all ended on a good note, as most of these roller coasters do.
now i have a shit load of art to make and an essay to write about a dead baby and a slave lady (beloved).
but on the note of Nick and Norah. i both love it and hate it. i love it because that is the way i want to world to work. it is so beautiful and amazing. i hate it because when i think i'm getting close to something like that, i'm really not and it all falls to shit. but i still dream, right?
tonight was trifecta night. it was a roller coaster. we went to see Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, which was super amazing. it was filled with way too much cuteness for its own good. of course i had to spoil the fun with a huge breakdown in the car about, o yep, kairos. thank god for sarah and claire. they were more than understanding and i guess i'm just a little more than surprised because i've never really had such good friends like that. it all ended on a good note, as most of these roller coasters do.
now i have a shit load of art to make and an essay to write about a dead baby and a slave lady (beloved).
but on the note of Nick and Norah. i both love it and hate it. i love it because that is the way i want to world to work. it is so beautiful and amazing. i hate it because when i think i'm getting close to something like that, i'm really not and it all falls to shit. but i still dream, right?
10.01.2008
nobody knows
i have a lot of things on my mind, but i suppose no more than usual. i suppose i will start off with the fact that claire and sarah (and just about everyone else) left for kairos today. i'm sure most of you are wondering what that is. kairos is a 4 day, religious retreat for seniors at catholic schools. it is secretive and supposed to be the ultimate self-discovering experience. in my opinion, the whole thing is quite cultish, but i am definitely going to still go on it. i am not against discovering yourself, or even growing with God despite my disbelief. i only cannot stand how people who have already gone on it talk about it constantly but then say "o i wish i could tell you" or shush each other when you walk near them because they don't want to give away the huge secret. they spout out odd slogans like "trust the process", "live the fourth", etc. all very freakish, and all very cultish. but i must say, that sarah and claire and all my friends leaving me today has made me realize this: i'm being unfair. both sarah and claire have been excited for this trip and me, being the bitter bitch that i am, have made it so that they feel bad to get excited about it in front of me. that is both rude and unfair of me. yes, i am mad that i am unable to go with them due to my having responsibilities. yes, i hate that they didn't change dates because i wasn't able to go along. yes, i hate that the senior video kids didn't opt out even though they are missing our first group field trip. yes, i am especially mad that even though they will all be on kairos i still get to hear all about it from geanna and christy who are overly excited for them. all of these things make me mad, and all of them are uncontrolable, therefore i should suck it up and accept all of them. i've decided i owe claire and sarah an apology. they are the best friends i have at school and i love them. i want them to have the experience of a lifetime, even if it is going to be without me. i'll get my chance and i should be happy that they are getting their's now.
today at work a power line blew and the power was out. we ended up closing early and trying to do as many closing jobs as we could in the lantern light. it is cool to have interesting work stories. i'm both glad and dreading the fact that i have to work 4 days this week. the best thing is i get the weekend off. the worst thing is that i have so much work to do this weekend that i won't even be able to have an extravagant hangout with my friends. o well. i guess this is growing up...or something.
the last thing i have on my mind i can't put into words. i don't even think i want to. and that is all i'm going to tell you for now.
today at work a power line blew and the power was out. we ended up closing early and trying to do as many closing jobs as we could in the lantern light. it is cool to have interesting work stories. i'm both glad and dreading the fact that i have to work 4 days this week. the best thing is i get the weekend off. the worst thing is that i have so much work to do this weekend that i won't even be able to have an extravagant hangout with my friends. o well. i guess this is growing up...or something.
the last thing i have on my mind i can't put into words. i don't even think i want to. and that is all i'm going to tell you for now.
9.29.2008
all over the place
SECTION 1: HOLY BOWL
this saturday was the 38th annual Holy Bowl. the Holy Bowl is a big football game between Christian Brother's High School (my school) and Jesuit High School. these are the two big catholic high schools in sacramento, CB being co-ed and Jesuit being an all boys school with it's sister school Saint Francis. they've had an ongoing rivalry since the two institutions have existed. i like to think of it as a dose of good, healthy competition, but in reality it is a bit vicious. i personally feel passionately about it. this year was Cb's year. our boys were better than they've been in a long time, beating ranked #6 Luther Burbank and St. Mary's or stockton. everything was going wonderful. CB gave the first score to Jesuit but quickly took the lead and seemed to be holding it. no one expected that late in the 4th quarter Jesuit would take the lead by a mere on point. time was running short but CB still stood a chance to score one last time. naturally that didn't happen and we lost, yet again. everyone, especially the seniors, were so ready to win. since our freshman year our football players have excelled at football, beating jesuit and all of their biggest competitors, and now we lost it all to a few bullshit calls and a mere minute lost on the clock. but the most important component to the Holy Bowl 2008 story isn't that we ALMOST won, but that we played well, we came out with more spirit than a liturgy, and had a good time despite the loss...or until the loss.
_______________________________________________________________________
SECTION 2: COLLEGE TALK
i just attempted to clean my room and a part of that is organizing all my random papers into organized piles/garbage receptacles. everything is pretty organized except for the huge monster pile of college brochures that i decided to keep. most of these are for art schools that i won't ever go to. today i was talking to luke, and he told me that just about everything i say is college related. he is probably right. i'm a high school senior in the fall semester and college is on the frontmost part of my brain. sadly my original dreams might not be realized. due to financial and practical reasons, i'm second-guessing this whole art school thing a lot. i love art, making it, looking at it, all of it, but i don't have the money to go to art school. plus, how can amy albertson go to a school without a football team? no one has the answer to that. so i still know what i want to do with my life, i'm just not sure as to how i'll be doing it anymore. it is really a shame because time is running out. i haven't started any applications. the most i've done is start my portfolio, and that is a waste if i don't end up at an art school. i'm just not sure, and i hate not knowing.
this saturday was the 38th annual Holy Bowl. the Holy Bowl is a big football game between Christian Brother's High School (my school) and Jesuit High School. these are the two big catholic high schools in sacramento, CB being co-ed and Jesuit being an all boys school with it's sister school Saint Francis. they've had an ongoing rivalry since the two institutions have existed. i like to think of it as a dose of good, healthy competition, but in reality it is a bit vicious. i personally feel passionately about it. this year was Cb's year. our boys were better than they've been in a long time, beating ranked #6 Luther Burbank and St. Mary's or stockton. everything was going wonderful. CB gave the first score to Jesuit but quickly took the lead and seemed to be holding it. no one expected that late in the 4th quarter Jesuit would take the lead by a mere on point. time was running short but CB still stood a chance to score one last time. naturally that didn't happen and we lost, yet again. everyone, especially the seniors, were so ready to win. since our freshman year our football players have excelled at football, beating jesuit and all of their biggest competitors, and now we lost it all to a few bullshit calls and a mere minute lost on the clock. but the most important component to the Holy Bowl 2008 story isn't that we ALMOST won, but that we played well, we came out with more spirit than a liturgy, and had a good time despite the loss...or until the loss.
_______________________________________________________________________
SECTION 2: COLLEGE TALK
i just attempted to clean my room and a part of that is organizing all my random papers into organized piles/garbage receptacles. everything is pretty organized except for the huge monster pile of college brochures that i decided to keep. most of these are for art schools that i won't ever go to. today i was talking to luke, and he told me that just about everything i say is college related. he is probably right. i'm a high school senior in the fall semester and college is on the frontmost part of my brain. sadly my original dreams might not be realized. due to financial and practical reasons, i'm second-guessing this whole art school thing a lot. i love art, making it, looking at it, all of it, but i don't have the money to go to art school. plus, how can amy albertson go to a school without a football team? no one has the answer to that. so i still know what i want to do with my life, i'm just not sure as to how i'll be doing it anymore. it is really a shame because time is running out. i haven't started any applications. the most i've done is start my portfolio, and that is a waste if i don't end up at an art school. i'm just not sure, and i hate not knowing.
9.24.2008
sailboats
Saturday Sept 20th-21st was Treasure Island Music Festival in San Francisco. i went with sarah wong and we stayed at my grandmother's in berkely. what is TIMF? it is vampire weekend, tegan and sarah, chester french, goldfrapp, tokyo police club, justice. it is independent clothing companies. it is free t-shirts and buttons. it is a music festival with a ton of great indie bands and interesting people and culture. there are too many words required to describe how great it was and is. basically, i had a really terific time with sarah, watching bands and seeing things, and i also got to hangout with some people. i met D.A. from Chester French and found a new love in Sara from Tegan and Sara. i discovered that tokyo police club is possibly one of the cutest bands ever.
holy bowl is this weekend.
holy bowl is this weekend.
9.17.2008
up and down
the last...48 hours or so...have been a roller coaster ride. i had a wonderful day at work on sunday only to be killed by a boring monday at school. then on monday evening i got to go to dinner with my cousins who i haven't seen in forever. keith and emily and their kids are visiting from orlando so i was really excited. dinner was fairly hectic, as it always is with my gigantic family and my mom was stressing me out beyond all reason. luckily i got to go to my cousin jill's house where her, emily, and i watched a ton of episodes of the hills and ate cake batter. it was so fun to spend time just hanging out with my cousins. i never do that often enough. i always really miss keith and emily because their family is just so fun and they are so nice. it's too bad they live so far away. but back to the roller coaster. my mom got mad because i came home at 11:30 from jill's. it is kind of ridiculous because i was at a family member's house and i was visiting with people i never get to see. of course i had to go to school today to be welcomed by a summons to the dean's office and a notification from ms. olson herself about my 3 detentions. the day got better and we celebrated nick jonas' birthday at lunch. we ate cake that jill had baked for me the night before. of course i had to go to work and tell my boss about how i will be late on two days because i have detention. luckily it went ok. work wasn't bad and now i'm just waiting for tomorow and the next day because friday sarah and i go to SF for treasure island music fest. I AM SO EXCITED!
9.15.2008
be interested
i want to blog about something interesting but i just don't know what. everything i think i want to talk about just doesn't seem adequate, but i'm full of thought.
i suppose i'm going through an important life-stage. i'm starting to seriously question whether or not i really should go to art school. i have 3 major reasons for this lack of security. first, my art teacher actually said to me "maybe you shouldn't go to art school if you always want things done your way". i was not only insulted, but i also really took that as a heavy hit. i know mr. mcgovern isn't the most competent, motivating, or well-educated person on the matter, but he is knowledgeable and no matter what way i slice it i owe a lot of my interest in art to him. hearing him discourage me really makes me think "is he right on this one?". second, i feel behind. today i got a postcard from MICA about portfolio review days and interviews for the fall. i am not ready to show a portfolio for the fall. i don't have enough high-quality pieces to present at this time. does that mean i am not cut out for it? should i be ready? i just feel like i'm not up to par with the rest of the industry as far as skill or product goes. i know the one place i am up to speed in is passion. i really want to do it, i just don't know if i really am supposed to. perhaps i'm pushing it too much and it's not meant to be. the third reason is that my family has informed me that although we may not be poor, we do not have enough money to pay for art college. all of the art schools i've looked into run about 30-40 thousand dollars a year, not even including living expenses. i HAVE to get a scholarship if i want to go to any of them, but most of the financial sid they give out is based on need, which i have none, or artisitic ability and i'll be the first to admit i'm not that good. i might be good compared to the average person, but not to the amazing talents that i'd be competing against for a scholarship at an art school. once again i remain the lowest of the over-acheivers. i'm definitely not the best of the best. so i might end up at a state college, or something. perhaps i dream to big and need to rethink before it is too late. i don't want to be one of the kids who screws themselves over.
i suppose i'm going through an important life-stage. i'm starting to seriously question whether or not i really should go to art school. i have 3 major reasons for this lack of security. first, my art teacher actually said to me "maybe you shouldn't go to art school if you always want things done your way". i was not only insulted, but i also really took that as a heavy hit. i know mr. mcgovern isn't the most competent, motivating, or well-educated person on the matter, but he is knowledgeable and no matter what way i slice it i owe a lot of my interest in art to him. hearing him discourage me really makes me think "is he right on this one?". second, i feel behind. today i got a postcard from MICA about portfolio review days and interviews for the fall. i am not ready to show a portfolio for the fall. i don't have enough high-quality pieces to present at this time. does that mean i am not cut out for it? should i be ready? i just feel like i'm not up to par with the rest of the industry as far as skill or product goes. i know the one place i am up to speed in is passion. i really want to do it, i just don't know if i really am supposed to. perhaps i'm pushing it too much and it's not meant to be. the third reason is that my family has informed me that although we may not be poor, we do not have enough money to pay for art college. all of the art schools i've looked into run about 30-40 thousand dollars a year, not even including living expenses. i HAVE to get a scholarship if i want to go to any of them, but most of the financial sid they give out is based on need, which i have none, or artisitic ability and i'll be the first to admit i'm not that good. i might be good compared to the average person, but not to the amazing talents that i'd be competing against for a scholarship at an art school. once again i remain the lowest of the over-acheivers. i'm definitely not the best of the best. so i might end up at a state college, or something. perhaps i dream to big and need to rethink before it is too late. i don't want to be one of the kids who screws themselves over.
9.09.2008
randomness
let's start with a little story telling:
last friday evening i saw Vicky Christina Barcelona with eden, sarah, and nick. luke and chris sylva were supposed to come but both had to bail, not for the same reason. yes, luke isn't talking to me. no, i am not in the position to explain. the truth is i couldn't if i tried. all i know is i wish he wouldn't ignore me.
saturday i got sick, but i still had to ref soccer. that evening, after i drugged myself up, i went with the group to willy's and then we went to claire's house. it was an interesting...and odd evening. i had john howard take me home early because i had work in the morning.
i'm not sure if i updated with the fact that i did get a job at freeport bakery. today was my 4th day. i've pretty much got the hang of my job, for the most part. working has definitly made my schedule a little hectic. i don' t think i planned to be working during the school year when i took on so many activities. i haven't gone to soccer in ages and i need to get my bangs trimmed but i dont even know when i will have the time. i am a little behind on my government reading and we have a test on wednesday, so i need to really catch up.
between the events of friday, saturday, and all kinds of other things, my life feels kind of jumbled up right now. it isn' t necessarily a bad thing, i'm just not in the same pattern as usual and i'm trying to find a new one. o, and i saw a picture of brian wearing what i am pretty sure is an american apparel sweatshirt....yea.
blogisodes coming soon i swear. two of them.
last friday evening i saw Vicky Christina Barcelona with eden, sarah, and nick. luke and chris sylva were supposed to come but both had to bail, not for the same reason. yes, luke isn't talking to me. no, i am not in the position to explain. the truth is i couldn't if i tried. all i know is i wish he wouldn't ignore me.
saturday i got sick, but i still had to ref soccer. that evening, after i drugged myself up, i went with the group to willy's and then we went to claire's house. it was an interesting...and odd evening. i had john howard take me home early because i had work in the morning.
i'm not sure if i updated with the fact that i did get a job at freeport bakery. today was my 4th day. i've pretty much got the hang of my job, for the most part. working has definitly made my schedule a little hectic. i don' t think i planned to be working during the school year when i took on so many activities. i haven't gone to soccer in ages and i need to get my bangs trimmed but i dont even know when i will have the time. i am a little behind on my government reading and we have a test on wednesday, so i need to really catch up.
between the events of friday, saturday, and all kinds of other things, my life feels kind of jumbled up right now. it isn' t necessarily a bad thing, i'm just not in the same pattern as usual and i'm trying to find a new one. o, and i saw a picture of brian wearing what i am pretty sure is an american apparel sweatshirt....yea.
blogisodes coming soon i swear. two of them.
9.04.2008
happiest place on earth
from august 28th until the 31st my family ventured to disneyland. naturally it was quite an interesting trip, seeing as my family is nuts and does not spend time together often, especially not this much time. day one we drove down to LA which was a less-manic-than-expected car ride. once arriving we ate some really interesting Vietnamese food [because my father is a food critic and looks up restaurants on the internet], and went to downtown disney for the first round of shopping and headed back to our ghetto hotel. day two we actually went to disneyland. of course we went on basically every ride and you know all the rest. lines were fairly long, it was sticky-hott, and there were millions of people around. but i did have the pleasure of riding the new finding nemo submarine ride. as a child the old submarine ride was my favorite and was sadly closed down. now it is reopened as a similar variation with a finding nemo theme. a win-win i think. [i'll have a webisode about disneyland to give you my further opinions coming soon].
[more pictures later]
day three we went to california adventure for a little while. i got to go on the new toys story mania ride, which is by far the best ride ever. you sit in a little car type contraction and wear 3D glasses while you play virtual carnival games, competing with the person sitting next to you. after CA adventures we moved into our second hotel, the disneyland paradise pier hotel. it was one of the most amazing hotels i've ever been in.
that night we hit up some obscure, and super authentic italian restaurant for pasta so that my mom could load up on carbs for her marathon the next morning. after that we headed home to sleep because i had to wake up at 5 in the morning to escort my mother to the starting line of her race. after she finished we ate breakfast at the PCH grill, which ended up being one of those character breakfasts. i was very pleased with that, other than the fact that my father ran out of cash so i had to put in some of my own stipend. [pictures also coming soon]
all in all, it was a nice trip and despite a few disputes and the annoyances i enjoyed my time and i still love disneyland just as much as ever.
p.s. i started working at freeport bakery yesterday. it is kind of hard work because there are a lot of new things to remember, but i'm sure i will get it eventually. everyone was really nice and i'm sure they will help me with things until i really get a hold of my job.
[more pictures later]
day three we went to california adventure for a little while. i got to go on the new toys story mania ride, which is by far the best ride ever. you sit in a little car type contraction and wear 3D glasses while you play virtual carnival games, competing with the person sitting next to you. after CA adventures we moved into our second hotel, the disneyland paradise pier hotel. it was one of the most amazing hotels i've ever been in.
that night we hit up some obscure, and super authentic italian restaurant for pasta so that my mom could load up on carbs for her marathon the next morning. after that we headed home to sleep because i had to wake up at 5 in the morning to escort my mother to the starting line of her race. after she finished we ate breakfast at the PCH grill, which ended up being one of those character breakfasts. i was very pleased with that, other than the fact that my father ran out of cash so i had to put in some of my own stipend. [pictures also coming soon]
all in all, it was a nice trip and despite a few disputes and the annoyances i enjoyed my time and i still love disneyland just as much as ever.
p.s. i started working at freeport bakery yesterday. it is kind of hard work because there are a lot of new things to remember, but i'm sure i will get it eventually. everyone was really nice and i'm sure they will help me with things until i really get a hold of my job.
9.01.2008
coming soon
A DISNEYLAND POST! i just got back and i have tons to do. once i'm organized and i've uploaded pics i will post it so keep looking for it!
8.24.2008
everything's not lost
i'm not what to say about the last few days. i'm back at one of those places where i have both good, fun times, as well as sadness and feelings of worry. in an overall sense, i've had fun, but there were times that weren't so great. i guess i'll just list of the good things, and then juble a paragraph full of the various not-so-fun feelings.
first off, I FINALLY GOT A JOB! i went for my second interview at freeport bakery and i got the job. i'm extremely relieved because i've been trying forever to get a job. it will be a lot to learn and possibly hard at times but i know i can do it if i just pay attention and try. i don't just want to keep the job. i also want to be good at it.
on friday night and last night sarah and i house-sat for her uncle. he has this really nice house in the gated community down the street from me. last night claire came with us and we had a dinner of chicken nuggets and diet pepsi. i had chicken nuggets for every meal yesterday! that is probably ridiculously unhealthy. we attempted to do some hw, but that didn't really work so we went to the mall to try on dresses. it sounded like a ton of fun but ended up being a fluke. after we headed to claire's and watched olympic diving. david boudia is sooooo cute!
now i've got to write my essay because we are going to disneyland before it is actually due. between school and the stresses of life, i'm getting a little overwhelmed. i suppose i've dealt with much worse but having the super carefree summer that i did just magnifies my troubles. un garcon is still on my mind and heavy on my heart and i have to wait it out which is not something i an very good at. i have to paint and create for art at all times and i have no creative energy right now. somehow i'm going to have to find some. yesterday we told stephanie about our issues in our friendship but that didn't really work out the way we had planned. i also have soccer, which i want to try hard at. i want to get in shape. i went to the gym on my own but with school and soon work i won't really have many opportunities to go. i guess i do feel better when i exercise and i do get reading done there. life is changing, and i can tell. i'm getting older. i don't mind. it is only the transitioning phases that drive me insane.
first off, I FINALLY GOT A JOB! i went for my second interview at freeport bakery and i got the job. i'm extremely relieved because i've been trying forever to get a job. it will be a lot to learn and possibly hard at times but i know i can do it if i just pay attention and try. i don't just want to keep the job. i also want to be good at it.
on friday night and last night sarah and i house-sat for her uncle. he has this really nice house in the gated community down the street from me. last night claire came with us and we had a dinner of chicken nuggets and diet pepsi. i had chicken nuggets for every meal yesterday! that is probably ridiculously unhealthy. we attempted to do some hw, but that didn't really work so we went to the mall to try on dresses. it sounded like a ton of fun but ended up being a fluke. after we headed to claire's and watched olympic diving. david boudia is sooooo cute!
now i've got to write my essay because we are going to disneyland before it is actually due. between school and the stresses of life, i'm getting a little overwhelmed. i suppose i've dealt with much worse but having the super carefree summer that i did just magnifies my troubles. un garcon is still on my mind and heavy on my heart and i have to wait it out which is not something i an very good at. i have to paint and create for art at all times and i have no creative energy right now. somehow i'm going to have to find some. yesterday we told stephanie about our issues in our friendship but that didn't really work out the way we had planned. i also have soccer, which i want to try hard at. i want to get in shape. i went to the gym on my own but with school and soon work i won't really have many opportunities to go. i guess i do feel better when i exercise and i do get reading done there. life is changing, and i can tell. i'm getting older. i don't mind. it is only the transitioning phases that drive me insane.
8.20.2008
all jumbly
i don't quite know if i want to puke, or cry, or smile and move on. the third is least likely to happen because i am so stubborn and don't give up easily. the first is also not as likely to happen because i really hate puking, although many people say it makes you feel better when you need to do it. when i need to puke i hold it in with all my might. the second is most likely to happen, but i so don't want it to. i don't want to cry over this. you are all probably asking "what is this?" but i dont know if i want to disclose those details, making this all hard to understand. basically, the more i find out, the more i should give up and move on. sadly i'm so stuck on it that i can't seem to accept that at all. i don't care. i'm going to be my stubborn self and wait it out.
i just want to find the nick to my norah, the edward to my bella, the noah to my allie. i was so sure i'd get what i wanted this time, that everything would be great...at least for a little while. well, i got the shortest little while of my whole damn life.
keep praying for my "to be continued" to not become a "the end".
i just want to find the nick to my norah, the edward to my bella, the noah to my allie. i was so sure i'd get what i wanted this time, that everything would be great...at least for a little while. well, i got the shortest little while of my whole damn life.
keep praying for my "to be continued" to not become a "the end".
8.16.2008
academically speaking
WARNING: this entry will be quite multifaceted. i will begin with the good and move on the the bad. there might be some ranting.
i started school on thursday. i suppose that is not really good. it just made me so tired and i got the worst headache. luckily my work load is minimal so far. friday was joe jonas' birthday so i baked a green cake with green frosting and told geanna to wear green with me. everyone liked the suprise.
on to the ranting. i've decided that i am completely codependent. i need people and i need to be with people. not being with them or around them, or just feeling isolated when i'm with them, drives me insane and makes me so frustrated. now this all has come about due to a boy [whom shall remain anonymous], which is truly ironic because it wasn't because i was having matrimonial thoughts about it. no, instead it was because he decided that he is going to play a nice little game with me where he ignores me and then after a three week period, finally sees me and then we repeat. its relatively confusing, however simple it sounds, and i hate it more than just about anything. the saddest thing is i can't hate him for it because i like him so much. i hate when boys are really cute because then you can't bring yourself to get angry. it is all total bullshit.
i started school on thursday. i suppose that is not really good. it just made me so tired and i got the worst headache. luckily my work load is minimal so far. friday was joe jonas' birthday so i baked a green cake with green frosting and told geanna to wear green with me. everyone liked the suprise.
on to the ranting. i've decided that i am completely codependent. i need people and i need to be with people. not being with them or around them, or just feeling isolated when i'm with them, drives me insane and makes me so frustrated. now this all has come about due to a boy [whom shall remain anonymous], which is truly ironic because it wasn't because i was having matrimonial thoughts about it. no, instead it was because he decided that he is going to play a nice little game with me where he ignores me and then after a three week period, finally sees me and then we repeat. its relatively confusing, however simple it sounds, and i hate it more than just about anything. the saddest thing is i can't hate him for it because i like him so much. i hate when boys are really cute because then you can't bring yourself to get angry. it is all total bullshit.
8.14.2008
done, fo'reeeals
summer is over, officially. i declare it over RIGHT NOW. of course i have yet to finish my summer reading or my college planning homework [techinically]. if i look back on it, this really was the best summer yet which is good considering it is kind of my last one...as a kid. i do not like to think that i will be an adult soon. i mean, i love being independent and in control of myself, but i don't want to deal with the perils that are taxes, marriage, etc, just yet. i like having my...uh...youthful innocence. i both do and don't want to go to college. i hate this in between stage. i'm in the stage where you have to worry about college, like decide where you want to apply and if you have enough to get in blah, blah, blah. i hate that there is no gaurentee at the moment about what will happen. i want to know what the plan is so i can fully prepare myself for that fateful day that i leave this town to bigger and better things. i want to be able to worry about sorting what i have into "what i want to keep" and "what i want to leave behind me forever".
wish me luck at school tomorow! i'm so gonna get lost.
wish me luck at school tomorow! i'm so gonna get lost.
8.11.2008
sunshine in my window
yesterday was basically my last hurrah! of summer, and i'm gonna go with "it couldn't have been better" because despite the not-so-good things, the good things really outdid themselves. i FINALLY got to see luke after like a month of phone tag and canceled plans. we went thrifting. i got this pretty cool crew sweathshirt that is United Colors of Benetton. it's made in italy. yea, ooooh [for all you who don't know, that is my little sound i make]. around 4 we went back to his house and then decided to get in touch with eden, my muse. i was so excited to see her!!! we sat and chatted until it was dinner time for her and time for us to leave. luke decided [and i think he is crazy for this] to accompany me for a night out to the drive-in with The Group. after a ton of embarrassing and ridiculous arguing and plan-changing, we ended up seeing the Dark Night [the original plan]. at the drive-in claire's ancient suburban's battery died. luckily we eventually got it jumped and headed home. i took luke home and then took all the pocket kids home and then i went home. ha. so i ended my summer with 2 days left to finish my work and with the gaining of a little life experience.
today my dad is taking my brother and i shopping. i dont know what my spending limit is but this is my list: cardigans/sweaters, high-top sneakers, camisoles, t-shirt tunics, and maybe doc martens. i really want some.
today my dad is taking my brother and i shopping. i dont know what my spending limit is but this is my list: cardigans/sweaters, high-top sneakers, camisoles, t-shirt tunics, and maybe doc martens. i really want some.
8.09.2008
dirty dozen
from 6pm 8/8/08 until about 7 am 8/9/08 i was at my school working freshmen lock-in. that is a night where the freshmen class, led by seniors and the student council, stay at the school and do fun activities all night. the experience is meant to help them learn about the school, make new friends, and just be welcomed to Cb with open arms and get out some of those pre-high school jitters.
my own lock-in, back in the day, was a fairly good experience. due to some mosquito spraying, ours was held the friday after school started, meaning we had to go to school and then come back and stay awake all night. of course that didn't last long. after the semi-awkward group games and pretty incredible dance [where i naturally shared my first high school slow dance with an awesomely gorgeous senior boy], i was pretty much too tired to partake in any of the "energy time" activities and just couldn't wait to go home and sleep forever...and then do my hw.
i must say that however unforgettable my own lock-in was, this one was definitely better. i'm excited for this new class. except for a few obvious bad seeds and the occasional party-pooper, the kids immediately fell into the "community" of CB and their class. not one kid in my group didn't make some progress. they all had fun, danced for the first time [it wasn't all of their first times], found some activity that they wanted to partake in at CB, and most importantly, they all made lots of new friends. it was extremely fun to lead these freshmen and really make them feel welcome, because i know i didn't exactly experience that and possibly could put some of the blame for my crappy first year on that. not only did i help the kids have fun, but i had an incredible amount of fun with them and with my fellow seniors. this was the first time that it's really set in that school is here, basically, and i am a knowledgeable, authoritative, and even scary senior. but naturally, being me, i got lost on the way to my homeroom. HA.
my own lock-in, back in the day, was a fairly good experience. due to some mosquito spraying, ours was held the friday after school started, meaning we had to go to school and then come back and stay awake all night. of course that didn't last long. after the semi-awkward group games and pretty incredible dance [where i naturally shared my first high school slow dance with an awesomely gorgeous senior boy], i was pretty much too tired to partake in any of the "energy time" activities and just couldn't wait to go home and sleep forever...and then do my hw.
i must say that however unforgettable my own lock-in was, this one was definitely better. i'm excited for this new class. except for a few obvious bad seeds and the occasional party-pooper, the kids immediately fell into the "community" of CB and their class. not one kid in my group didn't make some progress. they all had fun, danced for the first time [it wasn't all of their first times], found some activity that they wanted to partake in at CB, and most importantly, they all made lots of new friends. it was extremely fun to lead these freshmen and really make them feel welcome, because i know i didn't exactly experience that and possibly could put some of the blame for my crappy first year on that. not only did i help the kids have fun, but i had an incredible amount of fun with them and with my fellow seniors. this was the first time that it's really set in that school is here, basically, and i am a knowledgeable, authoritative, and even scary senior. but naturally, being me, i got lost on the way to my homeroom. HA.
8.06.2008
the livin' ain't so easy
alas mighty august is upon us, or shall i say me. my easy-breezy-fun-filled summer is fighting with it's very last bit of might to continue, but the harsh reality is that i have school in just about one week. i have yet to finish my single summer novel, The Grapes of Wrath, and i am beyond behind on my 100-entry sketchbook for AP Art. throw in my still non-existent college essay and you have a recipe for a huge mess, or rather a very stress filled week ahead. the plan was for sarah and i to go to the house and knock out at least the college-planning homework and possibly half of my sketchbook. we ended up "waisting" 3 days of our technically 5 day trip reading Breaking Dawn. now i can't really call it a waste because the book was pretty great, but honestly, i needed to get that stuff done. now i am left to juggle promised plans with people and all of my piling up summer assignments, only to be greeted with actual school. fall will be stressful. i'll have to get back into the swing of school, being a senior and all, and then it will be college app season. somehow i will have to balance my focus on essays and applications for traditional universities with the creation of my fine arts portfolio. o yea, and don't forget that i have to retake the SAT and actually take the ACT. here's a big fuck you to standardized testing and the college board.
well, read it and weep folks. i'm off to figure out how i'm going to get all this done...right after i see The Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants at midnight with two of my favorite "sisters".
well, read it and weep folks. i'm off to figure out how i'm going to get all this done...right after i see The Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants at midnight with two of my favorite "sisters".
8.01.2008
short thoughts
now that the frenchies are gone, i feel a little empty. i'm sure i'll adjust. i'm a little worried about sarah as well. she seems a little quieter and more introverted than her usual self. i'm probably just really overreacting.
i got a ton of new music from my cousin's hard drive of music. i'm set for a long while. but i still want natalie portman's shaved head!!!
i like to watch sex and the city, along with the tv shows i keep on my dvr at all times. there really are few decent shows on these days. i find myself wanting to watch the same things over and over.
i'm going to the house from friday the 1st until the 5th, whenever that is. hopefully i will finish reading the grapes of wrath and get A LOT of sketches done. i really need to get to work. i'm sure i will be better centered after this trip. and of course it will hopefully be fun as well.
i got a ton of new music from my cousin's hard drive of music. i'm set for a long while. but i still want natalie portman's shaved head!!!
i like to watch sex and the city, along with the tv shows i keep on my dvr at all times. there really are few decent shows on these days. i find myself wanting to watch the same things over and over.
i'm going to the house from friday the 1st until the 5th, whenever that is. hopefully i will finish reading the grapes of wrath and get A LOT of sketches done. i really need to get to work. i'm sure i will be better centered after this trip. and of course it will hopefully be fun as well.
7.29.2008
je' taime
today was an extremely bittersweet and heart-wrenching day. after all the fun and adventures, the french students had to go back to france this morning. we all tried our best to hold back the tears, but it just wasn't going to happen that way. after a day at six flags, a night with audrey and claire, a bbq at claire's, a night with everyone at jameson's, and an all nighter with sarah and melanie, the last bit of the candle was burned as we headed to the airport at 5:30 am to see them off. honestly, being with the french students was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. the group of all of us, including the americans, became so close so quickly. from the time of july 10th until today, i've probably been on more interesting adventures and learned more about the world than i ever have in the entirety of my life. i can't even put into words how much i will miss them. hopefully after i graduate i will get to visit them in france so that they may show me their world as i have helped show them mine.
7.24.2008
the suite life
monday and tuesday i went to lake tahoe with sarah, claire, melanie, and audrey.
i haven't been to lake tahoe in the summer since the summer before 7th grade when i went with jennifer tanaka. we even stayed in the same hotel, harrah's. although this time sarah's dad got the 5 of us a really nice suite, complete with a king size bed, lounging area, 2 tv's, and 2 bathrooms. it was the most legit hotel room i'd ever been in.
seeing as we didn't even arrive until around dinner time, we ate at this really awesome buffet. it had chinese food, fajita bar, and even sushi! how ridiculous! it was pretty funny because the french people totally don't have a lot of buffets or eat that much. that night we walked along the road and looked in all the shops.
we called kevin and colin and decided we were going to meet the next day to play tennis in their little housing community. sarah and i wanted to make headbands with famous tennis player's names on them so we went to a raley's we found and got some headbands and glitter glue.
claire decided to get some cherry chapstick...i thought it was a little sketchy seeing as cherry chapstick contributed to katy perry's lesbian escapade. yea. we went back to the hotel and stayed up doing our crafts and talking. the next morning we had a fabulous breakfast and headed to kevin and colin's. we didnt end up being able to play tennis, but we did go to the beach.
everything about the beach was fun except the fact that my camera got dropped in the lake. yep. i dropped my camera in lake tahoe. this is the last picture it took.
today i took my senior portraits. i am pretty sure they went as well as they could. afterwards we all went to the mall, including sophia, marie, delphine, jameson, erica, and matthiue. tomorow i'm taking them to the school and old sac or something. sooooo busy!!
i haven't been to lake tahoe in the summer since the summer before 7th grade when i went with jennifer tanaka. we even stayed in the same hotel, harrah's. although this time sarah's dad got the 5 of us a really nice suite, complete with a king size bed, lounging area, 2 tv's, and 2 bathrooms. it was the most legit hotel room i'd ever been in. seeing as we didn't even arrive until around dinner time, we ate at this really awesome buffet. it had chinese food, fajita bar, and even sushi! how ridiculous! it was pretty funny because the french people totally don't have a lot of buffets or eat that much. that night we walked along the road and looked in all the shops.
we called kevin and colin and decided we were going to meet the next day to play tennis in their little housing community. sarah and i wanted to make headbands with famous tennis player's names on them so we went to a raley's we found and got some headbands and glitter glue.
claire decided to get some cherry chapstick...i thought it was a little sketchy seeing as cherry chapstick contributed to katy perry's lesbian escapade. yea. we went back to the hotel and stayed up doing our crafts and talking. the next morning we had a fabulous breakfast and headed to kevin and colin's. we didnt end up being able to play tennis, but we did go to the beach.
everything about the beach was fun except the fact that my camera got dropped in the lake. yep. i dropped my camera in lake tahoe. this is the last picture it took.
today i took my senior portraits. i am pretty sure they went as well as they could. afterwards we all went to the mall, including sophia, marie, delphine, jameson, erica, and matthiue. tomorow i'm taking them to the school and old sac or something. sooooo busy!!
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