12.10.2008

being open, being honest

honesty is the best policy. i cannot say that without hipocracy because i lie. yes, that is the honest truth, that i DO lie. little did i know that so many others around me, especially people who i thought were incapable of pulling the shit that i do, were in fact just as capable as i am. i don't know if i am mad, sad, upset, or nothing. well i figure i am not nothing. since when have i been known to be nothing about anything? never. so obviously i am confused on what to feel. once again it is proven that it is human nature to lie, hide, and worry. but i still maintain that honesty is the best policy. i like to be treated with the truth, and i often like to tell people the truth. the sad reality is that no one can handle it, not even me no matter how much i try to let on. i like to pretend though. but honestly (curse the word) i'd rather know the truth and have to be upset than to live a lie, or i'd at least be given the choice to live in denial. it feels more justified to me that way.

Music: the silence of my own heart, the chattering of my own brain

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