high school and college

no matter how hard i try to fight it, i like High School Musical because i am a 21st century teen whose attention span can be held with relatively short films having unrealistic teen-life based plot lines, catchy (or cheesy) original lyrics, and a varied selection of cute boys. i saw High School Musical 3: Senior Year on its debut friday and wasn't one bit disapointed. being toward the end of my teen years, i am not quite enthralled with Vanessa Hudgens (Gabriella Montez) as are the 7-14 year olds who also revel in HSM's cult-like glory, but the balance between cute-boy scenes and mushy girl scenes was good enough to allow me to enjoy this film. stars Zac Efron (Troy Bolton) and Corbin Bleu (Chad Danforth) kept me on the edge of my seat with their unbelievable good looks, coreographed dance routines, and sweet voices. as for the females, Ashely Tisdale (Sharpay Evans) never fails to deliver an exceptional portrayal of the ultimate high school bitch, who always fails but finds herself in the end. all in all, the movie was entertaining and slightly relatable because i too am a senior and will be "going through the same things".


yesterday i went to San Francisco with my dad for California College of the Arts' preview day. it was a great experience to finally see all of the SF facilities and really learn about the programs. the chair of the graphic design program talked to us about the specifics of the program and i'm so excited and remotivated to try hard. my dad got a reality check about the cost and i think that he is willing to realistically try to find a way to make this work. now its back to the drawing board, literally to make an exceptional portfolio, write a high quality essay, and get my application filled out all in time for the feb 1st deadline so that i can be considered for a merit based scholarship.

bet on it

yesterday and today have been officially dubbed "the best weekend ever!!!" by sarah wong. here's a list of what went down. i'll supplement with pictures. it is all too much and too crazy to actually describe everything.

YESTERDAY:
1. went to west campus to find nick parker and failed.
2. went back to school.
3. went to claire's and made signs to ask nick parker to HC.
4. went back to west campus to find nick parker.
5. find nick parker and he says YES!(to stephanie, not me)
6. go to 7-11 to get slurpees. this takes about 30 minutes because we are trying to calculate if we can actually pay for it with our bundle of coins.
7. watch HSM2 on tv and freak out about how hott Zac effron is.
8. ask matt griffone to HC. WTF?!
9. watch the office and get denied by matt griffone....ahhah!
10. good ass car ride home.

TODAY:
1. go make signs with claire and meg.
2. kevin asks sarah to HC!!
3. go go claire's and have fun.
4. go to dinner with Helene, David, and Meg. (me and sarah)
5. go to HSM3!!!!!!!! i squirmed in my seat the entire time because zac effron and corbin bleu are soooooo amazingly cute that i couldn't help it.
6. claire picks us up and we go back.
7. go home


tomorow i'm going to the city for CCA preview day and i'm going to shop at American Apparel.

terminated

i got fired. i'm just notifying everyone.
PROS: i have a ton of new free time, i can paint my nails, i won't be so tired
CONS: i have no income, i have to find another job, i'm most likely going to loose my newfound credibility with my parents

let this be the end of it.

carnations are red

this afternoon something quite interesting, and what i would classify as beautiful, happened to me. this small incident started with me deciding to go to the "senior night" soccer game at school. "senior night" is always the last home game for a certain sport, and they honor the seniors who are playing their last games at the home field. it usually involves family and whatnot. anyway, i decided to go for one primary reason: to see stephen's mom, who i haven't seen or spoken to in a long time due to the sad fading of stephen and my friendship. to my relief (because i was a bit nervous about it) she greeted me with open arms and began to chat it up with me. the game progressed as we watched with intermittent conversation, and although i needed to leave, i decided to stay til the half. half time rolls around and cory fong catches my attention from the dispersing team huddle, and signals for me to come talk to him. he notifies me that they are about to do all the senior stuff, but his family and gf arent there, and he asks me if i will be his "family" for it. this my friends is one of the beautiful things in life that remind me of the goodness that can exist in the world. cory and i have been friends since about the 7th grade. we were once extremely close during freshmen and sophmore year, but like anything else we drifted apart. although we did drift, his asking me to do something like this for him, and me feeling in my heart that it is good for him to depend on me assures me that our friendship is forever. it's little, good, things like this that make my heart feel good about the world. friendship that is tested and still true, the ability to be dependent on others, the spontaneity of life. so if you haven't already figured out, i agreed to be cory's family for the day. i went out there when they called his name and he gave me the single red carnation that now, at least in my mind, can remind me of these beautiful moments in life. and the honest truth is that of anyone, i think i am a part of cory's family.

livin'

the weekend was pretty up and down and up and down and up and down. naturally thursday was very good, so friday had to be a rollercoaster. let's take it day by day.
FRIDAY: school was a little ridiculous. i used my yoga breath to prevent about 5 panic attacks. after school i went home and changed before i had to go to the 40 acres art gallery to meet Jason Micolo Johnson. he is the man whose photography show was at the gallery and my phots were in it as well. it was actually very interesting to hear his thought process and how he did the entire thing, but that ran late and i was late picking up joel for open mic night. i did pick up joel and the camera, because joel and i had to film open mic. this was my first film project so i was kind of nervous but it really isn't that difficult. having a knowledge of cameras definitely helped. open mic was pretty good i guess. eden was so cute as usual. after open mic i hungout with the group and we went to vic's and then claire's for a little.

SATURDAY: i didn't have much to do during the day. i went to luke's for a little while. we watched clueless on tv. i think i've seen that movie 100 times but i still love it a lot. after luke's i headed to claire's and had lunch at chipotle with her and meg. around 3:30 i went home to get ready for the 40 Acres opening reception. i ended up wearing my favorite grey top from forever 21, my dark-wash cigarette BDG jeans, and my silver woven flats from target. i was hoping to buy something new but o well. so i went to the gallery and talked with mr. mcgovern, wendy everett, and all that. claire and mike came and then sarah and her mom and i showed them my pictures. i honestly wasn't too happy with the photo selection, but whatever. i got some exposure. kevin johnson was at the gallery! i took a picture with him and then we all left to go to michael's fashion show. he ended up being quite late and we were already running late so we had to leave. we all went to joel's house because his parents went out of town. this is where i sort of began feeling another one of my great panic attacks coming on. i left because i had work on sunday.



SUNDAY: i went to work. at work i got my official warning about how i need to complete all of my tasks in the alotted time because if i don't i will be fired. i can't say i didn't see it coming. i'm just going to look for a new job in case i get fired, and even if i don't, if i find a better one i will just take it. after work i went home and watched football with my dad. i really missed football. i've been so busy that i haven't been able to watch it, but i really do enjoy it. the patriots lost to the chargers, which made me happy.

TODAY: i went to school and it went better. i got a 50/50 on my history quiz, which is fantastic because my dad has been on my ass about my bad grade. i did the same as i always do in lit, which is good because i usually hit my average and then maintain it. after school i went to claire's with sarah. then i went to guitar and my dad took me out to dinner. we went to hamburger patty's and watched the football game.

as for what i'm feeling/thinking right now, i'm not sure what to say exactly. some things are good and some things aren't. i'm just trying to make everything good by figuring out the things i don't particularly like. i'm also trying to get my college things in order.

the god forsaken right to love

today was possibly one of the most interesting days i've ever had.
3 reasons why:
REASON #1: i hungout with the lovely eden after school today. we went to Vic's and got ice cream cones. it was pretty hilarious talking about boys, and the history of goldfish when low and behold christopher sylva walks in. quite ironic since he was definitely in the topic of conversation. after lots of laughs we headed to her father's house for more laughs and some spinach pizza. we then proceeded to her mother's house. there we attempted to jam a little to tegan and sara, made friendship bracelets, and i raided her closet. i ended up leaving with a cute black blouse with polka dots on it. i really am against polka dots, but it is sooo cute. i might wear it to my photography opening on saturday. it was a ton of fun and i hope we hangout again soon!

REASON #2: after i left eden's i still had a little time to kill so i went to brian's to pick up some movies. that progressed into a conversation about school which progressed into me reading his government paper which progressed into a prolonged conversation about politics, people, and the military. naturally it was a little complicated and confrontational, but honestly it was great. he found out some things about me and i can officially come to the conclusion that brian is an intelligent being who isn't just a confused teenager who doesn't give a shit. he even apologised after i got home in case he had offended me in any way. everything is good, if not better.

REASON #3: emily called me and informed me of some not so good news. our other back up at work got fired and the both of us are a bit worried about our employment as well. i really am going to step it up and be extremely consious about everything i do at work tomorrow and every day because i need this job. my parents would be devastated if i lost my job. i'd be devastated after all the trouble i went through to get a job.

overall, the day was great. its odd and interesting moments i really appreciate. i enjoy when life gives me visceral experiences.

inspired

i love reading random blogs. i love photo blogs, music blogs, and recently (through links on allison lee's blog) i've discovered fashion blogs. i really like this one.
http://thatsjustmyvibe.blogspot.com/
my blog isn't really any of the three, but i want to start posting more music and showcasing my pictures. i'd say i want to showcase my fashion as well but i really am not that innovative. it is times like these when i realize how much private school dress code really is cramping my style. i've decided for homecoming i'm going way unconventional and i'm going to do my own thing. i dont want the typical homecoming dress and heels everyone else at my school does.

Current Music: Your English is Good - Tokyo Police Club, and anything Jenny Lewis
Current Inspiration: CKM homecoming pics (i know, i know; weird)

this is how i feel

today is my brother's 16th birthday. yea...yay! he didn't even care. my mom bought him a cake and he just said "why'd you buy me a cake? i don't really want cake right now." most of the time i just don't understand him. he makes it difficult for me to be nice to him, but somehow, deep down, i love the shit out of him.

tonight was trifecta night. it was a roller coaster. we went to see Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, which was super amazing. it was filled with way too much cuteness for its own good. of course i had to spoil the fun with a huge breakdown in the car about, o yep, kairos. thank god for sarah and claire. they were more than understanding and i guess i'm just a little more than surprised because i've never really had such good friends like that. it all ended on a good note, as most of these roller coasters do.

now i have a shit load of art to make and an essay to write about a dead baby and a slave lady (beloved).

but on the note of Nick and Norah. i both love it and hate it. i love it because that is the way i want to world to work. it is so beautiful and amazing. i hate it because when i think i'm getting close to something like that, i'm really not and it all falls to shit. but i still dream, right?

nobody knows

i have a lot of things on my mind, but i suppose no more than usual. i suppose i will start off with the fact that claire and sarah (and just about everyone else) left for kairos today. i'm sure most of you are wondering what that is. kairos is a 4 day, religious retreat for seniors at catholic schools. it is secretive and supposed to be the ultimate self-discovering experience. in my opinion, the whole thing is quite cultish, but i am definitely going to still go on it. i am not against discovering yourself, or even growing with God despite my disbelief. i only cannot stand how people who have already gone on it talk about it constantly but then say "o i wish i could tell you" or shush each other when you walk near them because they don't want to give away the huge secret. they spout out odd slogans like "trust the process", "live the fourth", etc. all very freakish, and all very cultish. but i must say, that sarah and claire and all my friends leaving me today has made me realize this: i'm being unfair. both sarah and claire have been excited for this trip and me, being the bitter bitch that i am, have made it so that they feel bad to get excited about it in front of me. that is both rude and unfair of me. yes, i am mad that i am unable to go with them due to my having responsibilities. yes, i hate that they didn't change dates because i wasn't able to go along. yes, i hate that the senior video kids didn't opt out even though they are missing our first group field trip. yes, i am especially mad that even though they will all be on kairos i still get to hear all about it from geanna and christy who are overly excited for them. all of these things make me mad, and all of them are uncontrolable, therefore i should suck it up and accept all of them. i've decided i owe claire and sarah an apology. they are the best friends i have at school and i love them. i want them to have the experience of a lifetime, even if it is going to be without me. i'll get my chance and i should be happy that they are getting their's now.

today at work a power line blew and the power was out. we ended up closing early and trying to do as many closing jobs as we could in the lantern light. it is cool to have interesting work stories. i'm both glad and dreading the fact that i have to work 4 days this week. the best thing is i get the weekend off. the worst thing is that i have so much work to do this weekend that i won't even be able to have an extravagant hangout with my friends. o well. i guess this is growing up...or something.

the last thing i have on my mind i can't put into words. i don't even think i want to. and that is all i'm going to tell you for now.