8.20.2008

all jumbly

i don't quite know if i want to puke, or cry, or smile and move on. the third is least likely to happen because i am so stubborn and don't give up easily. the first is also not as likely to happen because i really hate puking, although many people say it makes you feel better when you need to do it. when i need to puke i hold it in with all my might. the second is most likely to happen, but i so don't want it to. i don't want to cry over this. you are all probably asking "what is this?" but i dont know if i want to disclose those details, making this all hard to understand. basically, the more i find out, the more i should give up and move on. sadly i'm so stuck on it that i can't seem to accept that at all. i don't care. i'm going to be my stubborn self and wait it out.
i just want to find the nick to my norah, the edward to my bella, the noah to my allie. i was so sure i'd get what i wanted this time, that everything would be great...at least for a little while. well, i got the shortest little while of my whole damn life.

keep praying for my "to be continued" to not become a "the end".

No comments: