tough times

this economic crisis is having a much greater affect on my life than i had ever anticipated. i thought my parents were on top of it and we would be financially stable despite all this trouble. i can't be so sure anymore. my dad repeatedly tells my brother and i "christmas isn't going to be the same this year. i just have to tell you that now". it is hard to hear those words come out of his mouth. ever since i can remember it was feesable for me to have anything i wanted (although i did not get it because i am not a spoiled brat), so my first instinct is to be angry. but i'm not angry because that is unfair. my dad didn't purposely do anything to make it this way. my next instinct is to worry because words like that infer some sort of financial issue. i am graduating this spring and am supposed to go off to a 4 year college next fall. college is expensive, and although my dad hasn't told me yet that we won't be able to afford anything extravagant, i'm afraid he will tell me that soon. i have considered cost in my options, but part of that was opting for CSUs because they are cheaper for CA residents. well yesterday i received an email notifying me that all 23 CSU campuses are now being impacted due to the budget crisis. that means my easy in to SF state is no longer existent. i'm not sure what i'll do. i have already been accepted to oregon, but can we even afford that? only time will tell and for now i sit on pins and needles as i fill out my college apps.