sadly the past few days have proven to be less up beat than the rest of my summer. i'll get the bad over with and then get to the good. if you regularly read my blog, or you know me, then you know i do not have a job, still. so silly me for deciding to diplomatically approach my mother at the beginning of the month to discuss all the finances i will be needing for the month. i tried to tell her about snr portraits, hair, jobros, book buying, etc. this all just lit the sparks for yet another argument about how i continue to be unemployed, i'm not trying hard enough to get a job, and that i have set my job standards too high. of course that is a pure load of bullshit. i have put in numerous applications, spoken with managers, went to an interview even. all the jobs i have applied for are minimum wage, mostly in retail stores and places like starbucks and cafe late. so long story short, i've been financially cut off. my parents went away for the weekend and my mother gave me 15$. she did leave me the gas card after i asked for it, but who knows what will happen. i wrote my mom a letter saying that i am sick of talking about this and how i am sorry i am financially dependent on her and i dont enjoy it. that just pissed off my father who now hates me. he says i don't "participate or contribute", this being said while i calculated my book list for school. basically i'm sick of the bullshit and unnecessary stress/pressure. i am officially afraid to ask them for money and am desperately seeking handouts from friends as well as any words about jobs. i am also scared about college seeing as they hate me so their threats about not paying for my college will most likely be real.
and on a happier note, i've had some fun with sarah and claire recently. on tuesday we went for a picnic at the park wtih our fast food (i could only guy jack-in-the-box because i only had a giftcard). blair came as well. it was really a nice activity, being on the cool green grass with the sun just peeking through the leaves as we discussed topics such as Sex and The City.
wednesday night the three of us went to ben's baseball game and then sleptover at claire's. spanding time with the taylor siblings is a lot of fun, but eventually, like your own siblings they start to bug you. we watched paris je'taime and then went to read twilight and go to bed.
last night we went to christy's for awhile. all the girls except christy and i left and then we went with the boys to mountain mikes. after i went home and kevin randomly stopped by. after he left for mike's, brian also stopped by. his stopping by ended up being an endless television movie fest. he left early this morning i suppose. i left him downstairs at about 1:30.
now i am going to eat a bagel.
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