green

i was thinking (what a surprise, not) and i realize that i am a jealous person more than i like to let on and i think a lot of people are that way. it seems to be human nature to want something and then be upset when people get it and we don't. no one likes to admit it when they are jealous but we all are. the worst part is when you don't know you want something until you see someone else get it and then you decide "not fair, i want it". there is no justifying why you feel jealous, you just do. or maybe i just do. food for thought?

mine is the green one.

now that the kids are all on kairos it makes me think of kairos and brings me back to all those thoughts and lessons. i am praying for them every moment. i am also praying that their new found enlightenment might bring me some real inspiration to get back on track from my relapse. it isn't motivation i need, it is drive. i just need to realize that not doing anything might avoid the problem for now but it will be back sooner or later. i'm hoping later but that really is out of my control.

really things are not too bad. today i took a gov test and although it did not go to well, it did make for nice conversation with tim elliot. that has been the goal for a few days now. i can always dig good conversation with interesting people. i'm looking forward to this weekend. it is superbowl sunday and then next weekend i'm supposed to go to oregon.

Music: All American Rejects, Slow Motion Tag Team - NPSH, Why We Thugs - Ice Cube