i'm sitting in my Intro to Graphic Design class and bored out my mind because i've already finished the project. usual story. to entertain myself (and hopefully you) i'm going to post my English 1 essay. it is quite humorous. When I was younger I thought sex was just passionate kissing while you were in bed, naked. This I learned from Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis in their risqué, Top Gun sex scene; the first sex scene I had ever witnessed. (My parents were terrible at proper censorship and therefore I had access to such things.) One day, when I was in probably the second or third grade, my dad and I were watching TV and he began to give me what might commonly be referred to as “the talk”. I’m not really certain how the subject came up but what my dad told me wasn’t exactly the typical “where do babies come from” talk. At this point I already knew that babies came from sex. Instead of a talk about fertility, I got more of an anatomical biology lesson on sex. My dad told me that a man sticks his penis into a woman’s vagina and sperm from the man fertilizes the egg, which eventually makes a baby. This was definitely not what I saw Tom, Kelly, or any of their cohorts doing when I saw sex on television and at the soft age of seven or eight I found this entire idea to be totally unnatural and wrong. I had yet to go through puberty and although I had experienced crushes on boys I never had the urge to have sex with any of them. I just didn’t understand how a penis would, could, or even should go into a vagina and I didn’t like it one bit.
Most of my friends admittedly never officially had “the talk” like I did. There was enough sex in the media and popular culture that they learned everything they needed to know from TV, books, and their friends. Because I was the friend who actually got “the talk”, I was the one who got to enlighten them with the penis-in-vagina reality of sex. I’m not sure if they felt the same way about it as I did. We never really talked about it. I suppose that was because we were all a bit uncomfortable with it. We also didn’t know all of the details about boners, ejaculation, uteruses, etc., so we were all silently curious as to how exactly the whole thing worked. Did a man use his hands to put the penis into the vagina? Where did the sperm come from? Does it hurt when a penis is in your vagina? How does a penis reach all the way to a woman’s stomach so that it can fertilize the egg? There were so many things we didn’t know but none of us were about to ask our parents any of these questions. I especially wasn’t going to because I didn’t want to know. As far as I was concerned sex didn’t concern me because I didn’t want to do it.
Not long after the incident with my dad my younger brother, Tim, actually posed the question “what is sex” to my father. In anticipation for what my dad was about to tell Tim, I ran upstairs to my room, closed the door, and put my N’sync CD in my stereo at full volume because I just didn’t want to hear it. Sex seemed unnatural and made me uncomfortable. I couldn’t understand why my brother wanted or needed to know about it. He was younger than me and he had seen Tom and Kelly in Top Gun just like I had. I almost wanted to warn him. Hey Tim! You don’t want to know about sex! It is icky!
Naturally I got older and went through puberty. Puberty and hormones definitely contributed to making sex more appealing and not scary anymore. I came to accept sex as something everyone, including myself, would, could, and should engage in. I mean, if you really think about it, sex is sort of disgusting. It is the exchanging of bodily fluids by two people using parts of their body commonly associated with going to the bathroom. One could imagine how a third grader, especially one corrupted by the passionate, on screen relations of Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis, might find the idea foreign. My previous feelings of being scared of sex seem pretty ridiculous to me now. In fact, I find my former phobia of sex to be kind of humorous. Nowadays I am completely comfortable talking about, thinking about, and considering the reality of sex. I suppose that just shows how much I have matured since the third grade, something I’m quite proud of.
Music: Get Up - 50 Cent (because katie woke me up today with it. the story is actually quite ironic.)
i just got out of my Art History class and i i noticed something very interesting: a guy taking his notes on his laptop. now, in college this isn't such a strange citing but what i noticed was that because he was doing his note-taking on his computer he was able to supplement them with the exact pictures that the teacher was showing us by looking them up on the internet and copy and pasting them into his note document. this amazing feat made me think of two things: first, i should ask this kid to email me a copy of his notes and second, that technology has really taken over the educational system.
i'm sure there are a large number of you kids out there who appreciate online AP Art submissions, blogging HW assignments, and strictly email submissions of papers, but i on the other hand miss the classic methods of educational systems where i printed out my paper and handed it to the teacher. i suppose i like knowing that i physically handed that assignment to the teacher so there is zero chance that it can get lost in cyber space and my teacher can try to twist it into some story that will earn me an incomplete.
Bill Haverchuck: i begin with Mr. Haverchuck simply because he inspired the entire list. Bill is from the tv series Freaks and Geeks and is one of the friends of main character Sam Weir. Always the voice of fairness and reason, Bill is pretty much your average geek with huge, thick glasses, a cheesy smile, and an enthusiasm for science fiction. it is hard to describe to one who does not watch the show what exactly makes Bill so amazing. i suppose it is just that is odd habits and strong convictions create some of the funniest scenarios on the show. although he is not necessarily the main character, Bill is its star in my eyes.
Jim Halpert: although i totally support PB and J forever i would definitely like to have a piece of this guy for myself. why is Jim so cute? it probably has something to do with his simple white shirt-and-black-tie uniform, perfect smile, sarcastic cracks at michael, and shenanigans to terrorize dwight. just thinking about this makes me want to go watch the office and swoon!
Jason Bourne: one of my favorite men of action. naturally when considering the list i thought of James Bond, but Jason Bourne has a dangerous appeal that mr. bond just does not have. not to mention Mr. Bond gets plenty of ladies so he doesn't need me fantasizing about him. there is just something sexy about a man on the run from the government who sleeps with a gun under his pillow. he always has a large supply of cash from a variety of countries and he can speak numerous foreign languages. the tight black t shirts don't hurt either.
Chuck Bass: our favorite bad boy, or at least mine. Chuck B is the master seducer of women of all ages, including our own baby B (Blair Waldorf). no one can resist the sly, foxy smile, large quantity of limitless plastic in his wallet and whispery voice, all which comes wrapped up in a perfectly tailored suit with a monogram scarf to top it off. ladies, don't be ashamed to admit you want to be the girl who wakes up in that penthouse suite at the palace hotel.
Edward Cullen: somewhat of a guilty pleasure, but cmon. how can you resist his chiseled body, epic circumstances, and vampire appeal? we all go batty for this hotty vamp. he has piercing eyes, a coy, mysterious smile, hair you can run your fingers through, and an almost scary commitment to the women he loves. his poster decorates the walls of many teens across the globe for a good reason. vampires are hot! (well really they are cold, but you understand)
Mr. Darcy: one word: ENIGMA. when they told us in Lit class that appearances can be deceiving, i think they were referring to the mysterious, confusing Mr. Darcy. he might act like he hates your guts but in reality he holds a passionate, burning love that is only for you. dark and brooding is fine with me and mr. darcy is all of the above.
Indiana Jones: it's not everyday you find a guy who can wield both a sword and a whip and still manage to commandeer his jeep down a raging river. if you've got a craving for adventure, hottie Indiana Jones can surely satisfy it. ooh, and he's a professor. can you say hot for teacher?
Nick (of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist): he's the underdog but you want him to come on top, if you know what i mean. ha. sad little nicky is depressed about trish dumping him, but none of us would mind cheering him up. i love those semi-emo, indie boys. they are so delicate and you just want to make out passionately with them in the backseat of their yugos.
Trip Fontaine: if you don't know who this one is, Trip Fontaine is the school ditching, football playing, girl getting, hottie from The Virgin Suicides. his raspy, whispering voice will make your knees buckle, especially if he sits next to you in the auditorium and whispers in your ear "you're a stone fox". Trip, you can take me to the dance anytime.