always get hit out of nowhere and end up on your own

miss [mis] –verb (used with object)

1.	to fail to hit or strike: to miss a target.

2.	to fail to encounter, meet, catch, etc.: to miss a train.

3.	to fail to take advantage of: to miss a chance.

4.	to fail to be present at or for: to miss a day of school.

5.	to notice the absence or loss of: When did you first miss your wallet?

6.	to regret the absence or loss of: I miss you all dreadfully.

7.	to escape or avoid: He just missed being caught.

8.	to fail to perceive or understand: to miss the point of a remark.

–verb (used without object)

9.	to fail to hit something.

10.	to fail of effect or success; be unsuccessful.

–noun

11.	a failure to hit something.

12.	a failure of any kind.

13.	an omission.

14.	a misfire.

bold deffinitions are valid to my current situations.
right now i am in an emotional state of unrest. i feel that nothing can go quite right, which makes me in an increasingly bad mood when it is necessary to be in a good one. in my mind, everything is wrong, out of place, not working. in reality, its not.

i miss someone. that can set everything off. my mind wanders. i'm not quite sure the solution to that one because one variable of the equation is out of my control.

i'm missing the target. a failure of any kind, of some kind. i procrastinate on my work, i'm lazy. things aren't going the way i feel they should and it is most likely my own fault. there is something i am doing wrong. hit or miss, and i'm missing the mark every time.

i'm going to miss my chance. i can feel myself letting them slip by, the chances. i'm too unmotivated at the moment to catch them before they leave me. i know i will regret it when i figure this out. i've probably already missed a few.

i'm missing the point. i don't understand. why does it have to be like this? what can i do about it? i wish i could tell everyone everything always so i wouldn't have to deal with them on my own, but that is just not possible. it would only cause more damage, instead of help me to repair anything.

i have got to take care of this all. all of it must be taken care of, or at least gotten rid of.