A few minutes ago I was browsing photos of some of my friends (for all intents and purposes) on a recent trip they took to Europe. They just packed a few bags, went around, saw what they wanted to see, met people, and had loads of fun soaking up culture and experiencing visceral life experiences. I want to do that! I feel like although i have learned a lot in the past year, it has been nothing but difficult and full of harsh decisions, being/feeling stuck, and a lot of waiting. Alas, I continue to wait for the stage in my life where things are in line, going somewhat steadily forward, and I have the opportunity to just do whatever I want, when I want. I might sound jaded, but that is only because I do feel kind of jaded. I'm young and I feel like the prime years of my life are slipping away from me. These years should be spent exploring, experimenting, experiencing, not sitting and thinking, watching, or worrying. I want to be a little reckless and for it to be ok. But perhaps that is just it. Perhaps I've been playing it too safe. Perhaps I'm just letting fear get the best of me and that is all that prevents me from taking an impromptu trip somewhere, sacrificing a few sleepless nights in the name of fun, and breathing air the way it was meant to be breathed, slowly so that I can taste everything.
I obviously don't have all of the answers, but I know I've got to do something about this. I'm tired of being idle. I feel as though I've been settling and my life is becoming mediocre and that is something I am surely not ok with.
Music: Dog Days Are Over - Florence and the Machine
