Do Little Things

Hard to believe it, but the end of 2016 is fast approaching. For one reason or another, the end of a calendar year always jars me a bit. I think it reminds me of how quickly time goes by. Society surely likes to put on the pressure with all this talk about "New Year Resolutions". I've never been one for things like this, however at this current point in my life there are some things I'd like to change/improve upon. So world, it looks like I'll be joining you in these "resolutions". In some ways it is like I'm dooming myself to fail. The number of these New Year Resolutions that go uncompleted is through the roof, but I feel that I just need to be realistic. Bigger is not always better. That is why I am setting some small goals for myself this year to help improve my life. 

Here they are:

1. Blog about things other than Israel. No need to worry. Israel and I are still madly in love, but I realize that I have so many thoughts about other things and I need a venue for that. The solution to this: Amy & The World: A peak into my brain. This is a separate blog for posts about anything else I feel like writing about. 

2. Call my parents and email both of my grandmothers at least once a week. You'd think with all this modern-day technology that easily facilitates long-distance communication I'd be in touch with my family all the time. Wrong. Life gets in the way, I am tired, I am distracted. <--Those are all excuses. I want to do a better job at keeping up with the people I love. (Tim, if you are reading this, we can also have a weekly call...)

3. Reinvigorate my social activity. To be honest, to me this feels like a big thing, but that is half the problem. I need to address the issue of my dying (already dead?) social life in small bites. I've tried a lot of things in the last year, so I'm really not even sure what exactly I'm going to do in this category. Whatever I end up doing, I'm at least going to put it in my awareness as something I need to solve. 

4. Be outside more. I have a great apartment with a large, comfy bed. It is tempting, especially when I'm tired, to just hole up in there all day, every day. But this is unhealthy! I live in a country that is generally full of sunshine; and sunshine equals happiness! Mindy is sure to appreciate this one. 

5. Improve my Hebrew. No, I'm not going to do another Ulpan. I simply don't have the time/resources for that. But it doesn't matter! I LIVE IN ISRAEL! The world is my Ulpan. I am going to make an effort to "break my teeth" in Hebrew more often instead of giving up and switching to English, because practice makes perfect. 

Good luck to anyone thinking about taking on a New Year's Resolution! My advice? Think smaller. 

Travels of a young American-Israeli

No, it is not a secret that I took my first ever Eurotrip. I guess I did not want to post on the blog because I felt that it would create some sort of unwanted expectation on me to document it for my readers. Sorry you guys; I love you more than anything but this trip was an important experience for me. I wanted to embark without any added pressures.

But I am back in Israel now and want to share the adventures with you. There is a lot of processing of photos, writings, thoughts, and feelings, that needs to happen. Over the course of the next few weeks I hope to share a post on each stop I made. I feel that I've grown a lot as a person over the short (or long?) 20 days I was in Europe. I hope to be as authentic as I can with you all. After all, honesty is the best policy, right?

One of the biggest things I came to realize during my travels is that I truly am happy to be living in Israel. Around the 3rd or 4th day I started to feel homesick. I told my Dad this and he told me to come home. However, his thought of me coming home meant back to the US and mine meant back to Israel. Although it was thrilling to be in new places with new people, cultures, food, etc., I often found myself going to sleep missing Israeli people, fresh produce, my flip-flops, Goldstar beer, and all kinds of other arbitrary "Israeli" things. Meat with cheese is delicious. Scarves and sweaters are cute. People minding their own business is nice. But I craved salad for breakfast, endless summer, and a variety of people offering to help me get where I want to go.

On a similar note, it was a bit complicated to answer the question "Where are you from?". My boss and I spoke about this before I left--would I feel more American or more Israeli as I traveled to these new places. To be completely honest, I'm not 100% sure of the answer. When initially asked the question I started with "California" for 2 reasons. Firstly, to explain both my physical appearance and my accent. Secondly, because not all people in Europe are excited to hear you are from Israel. As I got to know certain people better I slowly revealed the details of the fact that I actually live in Jerusalem and, for all intents and purposes, ended up moving to Israel because I'm Jewish. Of course not everyone reacted the same way and I left many confused, but hopefully also enlightened. I'm a walking lesson of Israeli and Jewish diversity. Sometimes it is challenging. Sometimes it is amazing. But no matter what, it is always, always interesting.

Stay tuned for more. If you really, really just can't wait, I suggest checking out my Instagram feed. I did a pretty good job of documenting my travels there while they were happening. 

Goodbye, Mr. Peres

I feel a bit guilty. Yesterday the Knesset was open for the public to pay their respects to Shimon Peres. I wanted to go. But I didn't.

Yes I have excuses. I was working all day and didn't get home until past 9pm. (I now know they extended the hours until 11pm, a fact I discovered much too late.)

But is this enough? Here is this great man, a man I'd say was ahead of his time or at least many in his generation, who dedicated his life to the great venture of Israel. And here is me "too busy" to make it to the Knesset, which sits in Jerusalem, to pay my respects. Thousands of Israelis traveled from all over the country to come. I sat in an office half an hour away the whole time.

I guess I feel guilt because I actually feel sadness about president Peres' passing. I remember during my first trip to Israel I went to the opening ceremonies of the Maccabiah (the Jewish Olympics) and got so excited that Shimon Peres was there. (See the photo.) I got to hear him speak and it was my first time to the country! I was enchanted. This man helped build this place. He also was an integral piece of several important political events in Israel. (Here is a really short, informative video on the life of Shimon Peres.)

Part of the sadness I feel is the fact that Peres was the last of the original founding figures of this country. I feel like, although his tenure as prime minister and president were finished, something about him being alive held us all accountable to the foundational spirit of Israel. Now that they are all gone, what is stopping us from losing sight of their vision? My generation makes me nervous. So many things that should be important don't seem to matter, and on the opposite side we seem to be concerned with things we need to learn to let go.

Mr. Peres, you'll be missed and thought of often and fondly. You were certainly a visionary and inspirational figure in Israel, and even to many around the world. May we continue your legacy of innovation and continue to seek peace and growth. May your memory be a blessing.

השכנים - The Neighbors

Since my Aliyah I have lived in one general area of Jerusalem. I started in Armon HaNatziv (a.k.a. East Talpiot) because my Ulpan was there. When my Ulpan was coming to a close I chose to live in the neighborhood of Arnona because it was nice, near the familiar, and relatively cheaper than other desirable locations. I was lucky enough to find work nearby and so I decided to stay in the cozy, family-friendly Arnona. 

I often talk about the people in Israel, about how they were the first thing about Israel to really intrigue me. They never cease to be interesting and although Arnona is not the eclectic, funky Nachlaot or the trendy, upscale Emek Rafaim, it has its fair share of interesting characters. My neighborhood is full of people from all walks of life. Some of them are new like me and some have lived here their whole lives. I don't actually know most of them that well and a lot of what I know about them is gathered through bits and pieces and sometimes assumptions. In my mind they are all these characters in the storybook of my life here. So, let's talk about some of my neighbors.

My Moroccan Mama

Picture a dark, full-bodied, Moroccan woman. Her hair is long, jet black, and shines as much as her shimmery eye shadow. Her nails are long and always manicured. This is Inbal. She lived in the apartment upstairs from me with her husband and four children. I think she is what people here would call a "fraychah" but whatever you want to call her, she has the biggest heart. For the first couple months I lived in my new apartment she was like my mom. She received my mail and every time I went to get it she would give me food. She also loved to take care of Mindy. You see, Inbal and her kids loved dogs, but they were not allowed to have one because her husband was very religious. It is not uncommon for religious people to not allow pets in their home. Inbal might have been this boisterous Moroccan lady, but her husband was a quiet, observant, ashkenazi man. I'm not sure how Inbal and her husband ended up together, but they were and they were happy. It was beautiful. Unfortunately a couple months ago Inbal and her family moved away. Her husband wanted to be closer to his Rabbi and Inbal wanted a nicer kitchen and a bigger yard. 

The Music Man

Every morning I take Mindy outside to do her business and we have a routine path we take. This is how I've come to meet a lot of my neighbors. Some of them are fond of Mindy, and some aren't. What can you do? Anyway, there is one man in particular who really likes Mindy. He always greets her and I with a "Boker tov Snoopy!". He has this pretty strong, booming voice and you never see him without hearing him first. He is constantly singing Jewish songs and prayers. Similar to Inbal's husband, I don't think he actually is a huge fan of dogs. However he is always ready to greet Mindy a good morning. 

The Missed-Connection

As I mentioned, a lot of families live in this neighborhood. It is not exactly a hot spot for young singles (such as myself). Any of the young people around are usually kids, teenagers, or those young adults who still live with their parents—a common thing in Israel. One such young adult is Daniel. He lives in a building across a little parking lot where I walk Mindy multiple times a day. I met him for the first time when he tried to ask me out on a date. I had a boyfriend at the time and sadly had to decline. We saw each other every once in awhile, said hello, and when I broke up with my boyfriend I told him I'd be happy to go on that date. But as you can imagine things were not so simple. In that time he had acquired a girlfriend. Basa (disaster). Needless to say Daniel and I are not dating, but he is still a very nice neighbor. He is helpful and dependable and it doesn't hurt that he is pretty cute as well. 

The Principal

Another place I meet a lot of people is at the dog park. (Mindy really is my ticket to anything these days.) That is where I met Loren. He is the principal of an American high school program here in Israel. Loren has the cutest puppy named Hamilton who Mindy loves to play with. But beyond that, Loren is a really nice man. An Oleh himself with a family, he knows the struggles of young people in Israel and is always offering himself as a resource. He also just seems to understand. Based on what I see from him on Facebook he is also quite the warrior for religious pluralism here in Israel. Overall I just find him to be a very humble, respectable person that I feel good having in my neighborhood. 

There are definitely many more, but these are the one's whose stories were swimming around in my mind today. Perhaps another night I'll sit down and tell you about the rest. 

Three years later...

For those of you who have followed my saga, or those of you who know me personally, you have most likely heard the story of how my luggage was lost on the highway in the West Bank during my Taglit trip. What's that you say? You haven't heard it? Well let me tell you.

In 2013 I went on a Taglit Birthright trip to Israel. I was so excited to finally explore the place that held so much of my passion. I shopped endlessly for just the right hiking backpack, proper attire, and supplies for what was about to be the adventure of a lifetime. On the 4th day of our 10-day trip something extremely out of the ordinary happened. Our bus was driving on the highway that takes you to the Dead Sea, the Bedouin tents, and other attractions of southern Israel, when some men were oddly following our bus and trying to alert the driver. As a precaution we stopped and our security guard spoke with the men. All was fine, minus the fact that we were running late (classic birthright) to ride camels. So we rushed ourselves to the camel rides and the issue was not discussed. As soon as we finished riding camels our Madrichim (guides) told us that the men saw luggage on the road and suspected it might be from our bus so we should all take a peak in the luggage compartment to check our bags were there. I did what I was told...and that is when I discovered my bag was not there. Amazing! I came for a 2.5 month trip to Israel, traveling in a foreign country for the first time ever, and my luggage was now floating around somewhere. Needless to say I was in shock. 2 other people also lost their bags, but because their passports were in their bags they were returned to the US Embassy. Mine was lost seemingly forever.

Fast forward to this week when I get an email from the US Consulate in Jerusalem asking if I had traveled to Israel in 2013 because they had a bag with my name on it. Could I describe the bag and its contents in order to claim it? Um, yes, duh I could! Another email and phone call later and this happened:

Goals

Wow, I haven't updated the world (or at least this little blogging world) about the last few months. There are lots of possibilities of why...but I'm really not sure. It isn't that I've lost inspiration. Israel has not stopped being Israel and I have not stopped being fascinated. It isn't because nothing noteworthy has happened. I've celebrated holidays, turned 25, went on tiyuls (trips), ate delicious food, met famous Israelis, etc, etc. It also isn't because I'm not writing. I have countless notes on my iPhone written during bus rides that ended up being twice as long as they should have.

I'm not sure what to attribute to my lack of blogging. I think it is something like laziness and tiredness. Everyone who knows me knows I WORK A LOT. It can be frustrating to tears at times, but it is also rewarding. However, I find myself in a rut many modern day adults find themselves in. I work and my personal life has disappeared. Not even the "extra" parts of a personal life - spending time with friends, traveling, having fun. I'm talking about having time and/or energy to wash my dishes, make a proper meal, do my laundry. I rarely even speak to my friends or family back in the states because I'm home by 8 and in bed by 10. It sounds depressing because it is.

But in the last couple weeks I've been pushing myself to change this. I've decided that having fun, keeping in touch with my loved ones, and things of that nature, are NOT EXTRA. I can no longer think of them in these terms. I must think of them as necessary to my well-being, because they are. So in my new schedule for my life I do dishes on these days, laundry on this day, cook food on these days, take Mindy to the dog park on this day, and go to at least one purely social, non-work-related thing per week. There are still late nights in the office on occasion but I really try to leave the office by 7, 8 at the very latest. The rest of the work will get finished the next day. This I am learning from the other people I work with. Their professional advice has been very valuable.

It can be scary to set goals for yourself for fear of failure. I think that is one reason why it is so easy to get stuck in the cycle of overworking. Work goals come with clearer outcomes of success. If my boss or the CEO is happy with my work then I am encouraged to keep doing what I'm doing, staying longer and longer hours. At home there is no cheerleader. The only person who will pat me on the back for cleaning the kitchen is me. (Mindy doesn't even care because she doesn't eat on dishes.)

It has only been 2 weeks of this new practice for my life. But with every "accomplishment" I am gaining momentum. That is part of why I'm writing this somewhat disjointed blog post. I figure, if I at least write and publish something then I will feel accomplished; and that motivates me to continue the practice. So blogging more again is a goal. Reading more again is a goal. Doing arts & crafts again is a goal. Congratulating myself for the things I am accomplishing more, and getting down on myself for the things I haven't gotten done less, is a goal.

(All of this talk of goals is reminding me that one of my goals is to watch Eurocup!)

The Intensity

Intense would be the most accurate word to describe last night. 

I sat in the pit of the Latrun amphitheater surrounded by a number of people. Closest to me were the family of the bereaved; families who have lost their sweet children. Their sweet children (and yes they are just children when they enter the army, boys and girls of 18 years) gave their lives protecting and serving the State of Israel. Beyond that were thousands of my Masa participants, many experiencing Yom Hazikaron, Israel's Memorial Day to honor fallen soldiers and victims of terrorism, on Israeli soil for the first time.

We sat together as figures of the Jewish world spoke, music was played, and photos of their proud faces flashed on the screen. Proud faces, because they were proud people. Proud to serve Israel, protect its people from the many threats against it. 

We are proud of them too. But we are also sad. We are sad because they were taken from us doing something so good, something so honorable. We ask "How can souls so generous lose in the fickle game of life?". It is not fair. They were the good ones. They are the heroes, and in the movies the hero always wins, right? Well this is not the movies, my friends. This is our reality.

Needless to say unstoppable tears streamed down my face. I gasped for air with each new face on the screen as one thought swirled through my mind: I am only able to be here because of them.

Today the government estimates that more than a million people will visit 52 cemeteries throughout the nation. The rest of us will sit in our places of work, or in our homes, and remember each and every one of these lives lost for us.

It is too true here in Israel--We live for each other, and we die for each other as well. There are no sales here because life is priceless. Memorial Day is for remembering, even though it can be one of the hardest things for us to do.

Today I hope my words may have caused you to shed even a single tear of sadness for the fallen, heroes each and every one of them, and tomorrow I promise to make you cry tears of joy, because the people of Israel live.

Two weddings and a brit

Hello there folks! It has been awhile, and per usual a lot has happened. As the title may let on, I've been doing a lot of celebrating. At the beginning of March one of my most beloved friends in the whole world, Brittany, got married. At the end of March a very dear friend from work, Philippa, got married—and that same night another friend from work, Jodi, had her baby.

Aside from their obvious joy, each of these events holds a special place in my life for different reasons.

Brittany's Wedding
Brittany is one of my best friends in the whole world, literally; we met in college and bonded through our love and support for Israel. She has been a light in my life from the pacific northwest to the middle east, so getting to share her special day with her, here in Israel, this place we both feel connected to and connected by, was really something else. With Brittany's marriage comes Jochanan, and for me this means family. I don't have blood relatives in Israel (other than all the other members of the tribe) but Brittany, and now Jochanan, have been that and will be that. I can't wait for our kids to grow up together in this magical place we call home.

Philippa's Wedding and Jodi's Son's Brit Milah
I group these two events together for a few reasons. First, is because both of these wonderful ladies work with me at Masa. There must be something in the water there because the Masa family constantly has a lot to celebrate. in the short (or long) six months I have worked there 3 babies have been born, 3 more are on the way, 1 person has gotten married and another got engaged.

Philippa's wedding is the first Jewish wedding I've ever been to. None of my family had Jewish weddings and none of my Jewish friends have gotten married (at least not while we were in the same place geographically). Jodi's son's bit was the first brit milah I've ever been to. (Pause: for those unfamiliar, a brit milah is a Jewish ceremony preformed 8 days after a baby boy is born. There is a ritual circumcision performed by a moil and the baby is officially named.) Both of these are important Jewish traditions that will someday be part of my life. Attending them was important not only because I have never experienced them before, but also because they make me think about my Jewish identity—past, present and future.

My parents recently celebrated 28 years of wedded bliss and with all the marriage, love, and simcha (joy) happening around me I can't help but also contemplate my life in those terms. What do I want? I want all of this. I want to be head over heels in love and promise my life to another person who will also promise theirs to me. I want to bring new life into this world and try my best at inspiring them to be a good person. And I want to do this all Jewishly.

What exactly does that mean? Well, I'm still figuring that out. But don't worry. With all that's been happening I've got a few ideas. 

B is for Bureaucracy - A is for Accomplishment

The other day I had what I feel to be one of the quintessential olah chadasha experiences--visiting multiple government offices in the span of 2 hours. I had to go to the municipality to pay renters tax (a thing here) and then to misrad hapanim (Ministry of Interior) to change my address. Anyone who has been to one of these places knows it is often difficult. You don't know what you need, you hardly speak Hebrew, and the red tape runs miles (or shall i at kilometers?) long. 

This is probably one of my earliest "Israeli" memories after I made Aliyah. The 2nd or 3rd day at Beit Canada my fellow Olim friends and I decided to tackle misrad hapanim to acquire our teudat zeuts (ID cards). Usually you get them at the airport as soon as you arrive but of course things didn't go so smoothly. The computer was down when my friends arrived and my name was simply spelled wrong on mine (I suppose I could have chosen to be Amy Alberston if I wanted...).  Being the proactive and eager Olim that we were, we left at 7am to be there when the office opened (advice from more seasoned Israelis). And once again, things did not go so smoothly; it was Wednesday and the one day the office doesn't open until 1:30pm...ayzeh basa (what a disaster). 

This memory serves me well. I have now visited various government offices for various reasons and always come prepared and with appropriate expectations (extremely low ones). 

My (somewhat) veteran tips:

1. Get there before it opens. There will be a line down the block half and hour before any office opens. It feels annoying to wait in the line but it pays off. You'll get numbers immediately and get through quickly. The people are also generally friendlier if they haven't dealt with hundreds of idiots yet that day.
2. Bring every single piece of paperwork (yes, in Israel we have literal paperwork made of paper) with you. You never know when they will ask you for a certain document, form, ID number of someone, etc. it's always better to be safe than sorry. I'd even bring copies of your teudat zeut and teudat oleh with you because you need them for almost anything and many offices won't do it for you.
3. Try to speak Hebrew. It can go 1 of 2 ways, but generally they will appreciate you trying. The other possibility is they will be annoyed by your bad English and tell you snidely "you can speak English, ok" (with a huge eye roll obviously). But don't be discouraged. You'll at least feel good you really tried and can't be blamed for their sour attitude.
4. Ask people for help. Most people in this country love Olim and are eager to help you. They also are frustrated with the government office experience in this country and feel extra bad for you because you are fresh to its terrors. Let them help you! It makes everyone feel good.
5. Treat yourself after. It's such an accomplishment to get through these offices alone (or even with a friend) that you deserve that ice cafe or boureka (or pair of shoes) after! Even if you didn't succeed in getting something done and have to come back, you got out alive! And that's really something! 

So, whether you need to pay a weird tax you can't pronounce, or just need to get a passport, don't be (too) afraid of Israeli Government offices. You CAN do it! (And because you live in Israel you can complain about it all you want!)

Plus One

 A true sabra (native born Israeli), Mindy is a 4 month-old pup from the JSPCA shelter. I adopted her on January 25th. She is half Pinscher and half Terrier, tiny, cuter than anything you've ever seen, and so smart. Named after comedian Mindy Kahling, this Mindy has just as many quirks and thus receives just as many laughs. We've already been through a lot together in just 2 short weeks so I'm sure we'll be best buds for life!

Getting Mindy means a lot for me.

1. I have no family here and she is my first "real" family. Of course I have very amazing, generous, and caring friends who have been nothing less than family to me, but there is something different with Mindy. She is for me and I am for her and we are our own little mishpaha (family).

2. I'm making it here. One of my Aliyah goals was to be able to adopt a puppy by my 1 year Aliyah anniversary. And here I am with Mindy. The same thing happened with my job. I wanted to find a position doing the kind of work I'm doing for an organization like Masa Israel and I'm doing exactly that. Aliyah is hard, but if we persevere it is so worth it.

3. I'm a grown up. As a kid my family had an amazing dog, Max, who sadly passed when I was in high school. I begged my parents for years to get another one and they always said "No more dogs! When you're a grown up you can get your own dog and take care of it." So again, here I am with Mindy. I'm a grown up and I live on my own and I got a dog. Look at me now mom and dad!

So here is to #MindyThePup. May she feel loved always. May she continue to bring happiness to all those who meet her. May we live a long and happy life together. 

Just chillin...

I just finished Face-timing with Erika, my roommate from college. She is pretty literally trapped in her apartment due to the heavy snowstorm that is currently hitting the east coast of the US. (I've heard they're calling it Jonas or something?) It makes me laugh a little because 3 times this winter I've already been warned of the "snowstorm" coming to Jerusalem. In fact, this weekend we were supposed to have one. (Update: Said storm has been postponed until midweek. Hooray!)

This is my 3rd winter here (wow!) and I just have to say: Winter doesn't work here. It doesn't work because it hardly happens and it doesn't work because when it does happen everyone totally loses it.

I live Jerusalem and it is known for being "so cold". I'll admit—Jerusalem is pretty cold—but it is not THAT cold. The minute the temperature drops the heaters go on full blast. I literally am sweating in my office. If they even think it is going to snow they get ready to shut the city down. Day after day I'll wear my most water/weather-proof boots in preparation for something to happen and the day I finally give up and wear converse it will pour rain. Just my luck! The drivers here are already crazy, and rain or any sort of weather here just exacerbates it. When I first moved here I used to get splashed walking on the sidewalk by the cars driving too fast on the street.

Winter here is short and things are just not built for it, literally. Next to no one here has a dryer so you have to find a way to hang your laundry indoors so it doesn't freeze. When I was on Masa my room literally flooded. I woke up to water spitting in my face and 2 inches of water surrounding the front end of my bed.

Although we rarely get snow, we do get these awesome things called dust storms. We get them in the summer and they make it hard to breathe and make the unbearable heat even more unbearable. And we also get them in the winter apparently and they are the worst. Somehow they seem to always coincide with rain and then the dust sticks in the air and to everything else because it is wet! It's really not the ideal sequence of events.

That's not to say everything sucks here in the winter. We do have delicious hot-drinks like Sachlav, dried Sahlab orchid mixed with steamed milk and a mixture of orange blossom water, vanilla, cinnamon and sometimes nuts. There is also choco-ham (hot chocolate) unlike anything in the US. They put real, rich chocolate at the bottom of the cup and fill it with frothy steamed milk. You mix it all up yourself and it is almost like a food, more than a drink. A lot of my most beautiful scarves were purchased in Israel but are rarely worn here, so I guess it is nice to have the opportunity for that.

One way or another I will survive (and so will all the Israelis) and in 3 months we will go back to complaining about the heat. 

#FirstIsraeliBirthday

Many of you have heard (because I was basically shouting it from the rooftops of social media) but some of you haven't: January 7th I officially celebrated my 1 year Aliyah Anniversary. This has been a long anticipated day in my life and so the blog post that was meant to come with it also got a lot of preparation. I have a pile of scribbled on scraps of paper, countless notes on my iphone, quotes from books and movies—but I'm not going to put any of it on here, at least not today. 

I thought about it a lot and I just have too many feelings. Everything I've written is disjointed. I'm happy beyond belief. I'm tired and have frustrations. I see the light of hope for my future here. I cry in the dark because I miss my family. I don't always have a lot in my bank account but I've managed to keep my belly full. I work and work and work and yet I can't seem to work enough. 

My thoughts about Israel are endless. This is not a new story. But what did I want to say about this day? 

I found this quote: "If something burns your soul with purpose and desire, it's your duty to be reduced to ashes by it. Any other form of existence will be yet another dull book in the library of life." –Charles Bukowski

When people ask me "Why did you make Aliyah?" I struggle to answer. The usual things I say feel cheesy (even if they are true). I am always seeking a more authentic way to express myself. 

Well, here it is. Israel brings me so much joy but it also brings hardships and challenges and deep self-questioning to my life. It literally burns my soul with purpose and desire. Once the fire was lit I couldn't put it out—I still can't. And that is why I am here. And that is how I made it to 1 year. And that is how and why I will be here for many, many more.